I hosted my first party the other day. It was a potluck and a bunch of my friends came by. It turned out to be pretty fun. I was nervous, as I always am before hosting things (I tend to throw parties for friends birthdays). I even cooked something.

For whatever reason, my parties tend to turn silly. There was a little wine involved, but not that much. Grown men and women talking about strategically placing a fart machine near our stats professor so it goes of intermittantly during class, playing soccer with a balloon, and making a hat out of newspaper.

In other exciting news, I used "Evites" to send out invites to another party. This one is at my parents house, and my mom is making Indian food for everyone. It should be great. I'm such a dork, I love checking the evites to see if I got responses. Im addicted to my evite. I love writing my own form of "Yes" (Right on!), "Maybe" (Decisions, Decisions), and "No" (Bummer.) I want to invite people to something (or nothing) just so I can have the joy of designing a lovely evite, and checking for responses.

I'll be out soon.

I can't take the enormity of Christianity that is on the news day in and day out.

There I said it. It may sound awful, but thats just how I feel.

I like religion of all types. I have friends who have brought me into the worlds of Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Atheism and many subtexts of these. I think religion helps many people retrieve a sense of peace and hope when they feel like there is none. I don't like people selling their religion to me, telling me why I should believe one way or another. If my heart takes me one way or another, then that way I shall go.

It seems like everyone is consulting The Bible to make decisions. Concerning Terri Schiavo, I do understand it, since people are divided by science and morals. (I think there is a diplomatic way to handle this, but I'm sure for some legal reason, its not possible) But I just read an article about a man in Colorado who was served the death penalty, and had his sentence switched to life in prison since jurors consulted the Bible during deliberations. The Governor of Colorado and the prosecution saw no problem with this.

Did someone throw out the Constitution? Didn't many people come here from England for the separation of Church and State? We are seeing the effects of the combination of Church and State.

I suppose the part that angers me is the question of, "What if that were me?"

If I were Terri Schiavo, would people be rallying to make sure I get fed, or would I be considered destined to hell since I am not a Christian? And would this same line of thought be valid in other situations where others would be required to decide my fate in some way?

I hope not.

2 great things.

1) Monday, after doing double time on the phone and the computer, I got U2 tickets!! I'll be in the nosebleed seats at Madison Square Garden in November!! I think we are higher than the scoreboard!! I can't wait!

2) I will be spending 10 weeks of my summer in Athens, Greece (as opposed to Athens, Georgia) for my internship. I'll be working on some sort of Health and Policy development to protect women from ending up in a sex trafficking ring that is going on in Europe, in collaboration with the World Health Organization.

No wait, one more thing...

3) It was a beautiful spring day today.

I feel like I should break something myself before the streak gets too good.

ARGH!

That is all I have to say.

I am a victim of Tremendous effort leading to bad luck.

U2 tickets went on sale this weekend. Now I have never been physically present to ever buy concert tickets, so I wasnt sure what to expect. Last time I found out they were touring (I saw them during the Elevation tour), I was in India, and I emailed my friends to see if they could get tickets. Sure enough, one did.

Moving on...

Tickets went on sale at 10am, Tasha and myself headed over to our nearest Ticketmaster location around 8:30. We find out that there is a lottery for buying tickets. This means, they hand you a raffle ticket with your number on it, and this little ticket basically decides your fate. I had no idea this was how it was done, but ok, now I know.

We were standing in line, in a row, since we figured lottery meant they draw all the tickets and thats how we form the line.

Here is the dictionary.com definition of lottery.

Did you notice the word RANDOM in that definition? I did.

When this so-called 'lottery' time came up, the manager of the store picked ONE number (not so lucky for me, it was the ticket for the last people in line, and we were one of the first), and started lining up people in a sequental order. The last number was ticket number 590006, and the next person in line was 590007.

This went on until the latter numbers were done, and then he began lining up the earlier numbers. What was my number? 589089.

Needless to say, the latter half of the line was in an outrage, trying to tell him the definition of lottery. If I knew that was his definition of lottery, I would have had one of us stand in the back.

We knew we weren't going to get tickets, and we tried calling ticketmaster to no avail, and tickets were sold out in 30 minutes. The reason why it took so long? Jimmy Buffet tickets were on sale at the same time, so people were snatching those up too.

I was bummed, because I felt like I got robbed. If the "Lottery" was the way I assumed lottery to be, I would have felt a little better if my particular ticket was chosen last. But no. My fate was in someone else's hands.

I know there are many worse things in life than this (like Gonzaga losing to Texas Tech yesterday in the NCAA basketball tournament), and I know my life will go on, but I hate it when my fate rests in others hands. ARGH!

Allow me to introduce another excerpt of "Conversations with Mom"

The Setting: Mom and I are driving back from seeing my brother. I'm driving, mom is in passengers seat, radio is on.

Radio: "Big Pimpin' spendin' cheese..."

Mom: "What is he saying? Spending cheese? What does that mean?"

Me: "He's spending a lot of money."

Mom: "That is stupid. Why doesnt he simply use the word Money? Whats this cheese? Sounds so stupid."

Me: "Its ok."

Radio: "..Jigga man..."

Mom: "What?! Jiggle Man? Is he fat?"

Me: "No Ma, he's not."

Mom: "He just said he was."

Me: *Promptly changes the station to the LITE station*

A lot of my friends have been through many milestones which I havent reached yet, and I always cheer them on.

Then, along comes that one friend who I thought would be behind the times like myself, who reaches a milestone I'm not close to.

This weekend I had 2 of those friends reach milestones. One got engaged, and one had her baby shower.

The baby shower was nice, although I was the only one who was neither married, or with child. Even the girls who I went to high school with were talking about teething and day care, and the older mom's on the other side of me were talking about grandchildren. I felt a little out of place. Then I received the Yahoo photo album for the shower, where there's a picture of me at the corner of tables grandmother and new mothers with the caption, "You'll be at the mommy table soon Dr.P!"...glad to know that was sent to all her family and friends *sarcasm*.

So after seeing way too much pink for one day, I went to my parents house where they proceeded to tell me that they would like to being their process of moving back to India by December. So by the time I graduate in May 2006, they'll be done too. I know they want to go...they've spent more time in this country away from their mothers and siblings, and they've done all they need to do here, so they deserve not to be tied down by us (Me). Knowing that my stable home will not be ours anymore is a little saddening. I like knowing my parents are at least in the same time zone as I am. My friends have said I can go visit their parents if I need some parenting. heh heh.

So I've been reassessing. Where I am, where I am going to, and what will become of me. To be honest, I havent come up with any answers, and I think I have to get used to that.

Since I wasnt able to go to my old job on a regular basis, I had to get a new job. (Meaning=I got fired)

My new job will inspire you.

Have you ever wondered what Universities do with all the applications they receive once they are done with them?

They save them in a dingy basement somewhere in the depths of the school. Now that everything is becoming computerized, they have to somehow put all of these applications online.

This is where I come in. I get to remove the staples from the application, place them in a specific order with each applicant's specific identifying bar code on top, so the school can scan the information.

Although there is an interesting perk...I read some of the applications. There are a LOT of intelligent people out there who have done some amazing things.

I know. I never thought my skills would ever be put to use.

I had a HUGE 'first' on Saturday.

HUGE!

GI-NORMOUS!

With CLS Boy and one of my dear friends as witness.

I still can't believe I did it....

What did I do, you ask?....I held a cat for the first time.

Don't worry. I'm ok.

I am not an animal person by any means. I love doggies and cute animals, but I don't ever want to be a pet owner. I like to travel, and I wouldn't feel right leaving them alone. I also do not know how to groom an animal. And my mother has instilled in me that pets=cleaning=extra work=me not taking good care of pet.

I've never been around animals much. My friends have lovely little creatures as pets, but as they were/are not mine, I have no reason to pick them up. I love giving them treats and petting them, but thats as far as our relationship would go.

CLS Boy loves cats. My friend loves cats. I've never picked one up, so my friend told me to try on her cute little 18-pounder cat. I didnt know what to do. I did not want to pick up the cat in the wrong way so she'll flail her paws about, and possibly try to scratch my eyes out everytime I visit. I didn't want to dislocate her tail or leg.

I was still nervous to pick her up. So I put on my nice, padded winter gloves to protect myself. After being berated by my friend and CLS Boy, I took off the gloves and CLS Boy semi-picked her up and I tried to move my hands in a position that would not harm my friends cat. Somehow the cat was placed in my arms. Since the cat was an 18-pounder, I had to sit immediately.

Everyone was proud of my accomplishment, and we even took a picture to commemorate the moment. I was happy to hold the cat (especially since she didn't hiss, bite or scratch me), although I'm still trying to get the cat hairs off my jacket.

Since I've had the joy of being in a knocked-out kind of sickness state for 2 weeks (therefore not leading much of a life), I've been able to watch lots of tv. I've decided to talk about a show I HATE and a show I like.

New Show to Hate:

Theres a new show on VH-1 dealing with race and lust. Its mainly talking about biracial celebrities, and interracial couples in movies and real life. This is right up my alley. I love to see how other people deal with their situations.

Sadly, the show was about peoples opinion on these things. Some people were like, Why cant they stick to their own race?-type thing, and there were a lot of insults directed toward whites. I hate this because racism is racism no matter what race someone is. Just because 'whites' are the majority, I dont think its right or fair to sit and be racist to someone. There was even a comment on how Halle Berry 'used' to have black costars before she became this big star, and now she works with white costars. They were talking about how biracial people are confused. They even had a segment on "Who's more Latina, Cameron Diaz or Christina Aguilera?" The kicker: The segment on how do Asians/Latinos love, how do Black/White love, etc. Maybe it was supposed to be informational, but I thought the whole program was downright racist. It was such a negative show, I couldnt believe it was on. Yes, I did watch it. I was hoping for some change in attitude or lesson to be learned. Didnt get that, so now Im appalled.

Awesome show (which is not so new):

I'm hooked to MADE on MTV. This is a show where a high school kid writes in wanting to be "Made" into some type of person (usually the opposite of what they are at that moment). So a girly girl will want to learn to race dirt bikes BMX style, a girl who sings classical music will want to learn hip hop dance to try out for the hip hop dance squad at their school, etc. They track the journey until the tryouts/big event, and see how they change.

The best best BEST one I saw was about this kid named Dov. He is very smart (nerd in high school terms), into dance and theatre, and bullied all the time. He wanted to be "Made" into a wrestler and try out for his high school team. He was so cute and sweet, and I didnt understand why he hardly had any friends. He said how bullying got so bad for him in one school that he had to switch, but unfortunately the same thing happened at this school. The cool thing was, Kurt Angle (big burly wrestler) visited Dov at school and confronted his bully, and the bully was crapping in his pants. Anyway, Dov got all this training, got confident, got the nice girl to go to the dance with him and made it on the wrestling team. It was just so sweet.

I love it when nice guys and gals finish FIRST. Thats how life should be.

I actually had a restful weekend.

Since the NHL is being uncooperative and finding reasons NOT to give me a hockey season this year, I got my fix by going to a school game and bringing a friend along with me.

My school's hockey team is pretty awful. The funny thing is, I've never been on a losing team before. I've lost before, but never where the amount of losses exceeded my wins. (This is only in reference to athletics) SO it was kind of crappy when my school didnt score ONE goal.

Saturday, my re-sickened self went over to my parents house. I ended up going to see one of my friends who came down from Boston, and we went to see Hitch. It was funny, but the end got all sappy wappy, and I wasnt prepared for that.

Sunday, hung around my parents some more. Found out they are going to Florida for 5 days. I hope they have fun, I wish they were taking me. I hope to get a cool souvenier out of this trip though. Their last trip, when they went to the Bahamas, I got a $2 (Mom left the price tag on) bright orange t-shirt, that went down to my knees, had tropical flowers on it, with "Bahamas" smeared across the front. It was hideous.

Today I saw a wonderful speaker at school. Paul Rusesabagina. If this name is not familiar to you, you have not seen Hotel Rwanda like I told you to. It was amazing hearing him speak. You could feel the emotion from living through a genocide. Can you believe that 9000 people were killed/day? I cant believe there were governments who could sleep at night knowing this information.


Thats about all the update from here. Its now time for me to take cold and sinus meds. Cant wait for the summer, and this semester to be OVER.

Blatantly stolen from Robert

Choose a band/artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band: U2

Are you male or female:
The Sweetest Thing

Describe yourself:
Two Shots of Happy, One Shot of Sad

How do some people feel about you:
She's a mystery to me

How do you feel about yourself:
Out of Control

Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend:
MOFO

Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend:
Wild Honey

Describe where you want to be:
Where the Streets Have No Name or New York

Describe what you want to be:
Even Better than the Real Thing

Describe how you live:
Love and Peace or Else

Describe how you love:
Deep in the Heart

Share a few words of wisdom:
I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

I'm sick. On Valentines Day. How appropriate.

Since I didnt go to class, I can now blog. So there are some benefits here. Although I wish I had some sort of talent. I have so many crafty friends around my area, and in the blog world. Pua knits beautifully, and lest not forget all the wonderful bloggers who can add a personal touch to their blogs...computer graphic artists if you will.

I have friends here who make beautiful scrapbooks, skirting for tables, clothes, pictures, candles...loads of things. I wish I had that kind of talent. Or maybe the patience to use that kind of talent. At least I could create something beautiful instead of cooling my fevered head on the cool window. (I'm taking a holistic approach to medicine today)

Actually, if I could do anything artsy, I'd love to know how to play the piano. I could conceivably learn, so maybe I will someday.

A few comments before the actual post:

*Its Chinese New Year, and my Chinese friends have amused me by wishing me "Happy Chinese New Year, its the year of the Cock!"

*I ran into cute TA again on a day I decided to mismatch my outfit since I was running late for class.

*I went to the store to pick up a V-Day card for CLS Boy, and all the cards made me physically ill.

Anyway...

Someone once told me that many of the qualities one dislikes in other people, they have themselves. Ok, Im pretty sure I heard it on Oprah. BUT! I never thought about it, until there were some personality pet peeves that I do not like in others, which I found in myself. So yes, sadly, I'm flawed.

When I notice what I'm doing, I try to correct myself.

Its always silently enjoyable to notice others doing the same thing I've done: complain about flaws in others without realizing they may have the exact same flaw.

My recent enjoyment came from one of my friends, C. She tends to talk about how awful it is when people are judgemental, when she is quite judgemental herself. She also HATES it when people who have attended Ivy League or other high ranked colleges, name drop their university into conversation, talk intelligently using their SAT/GRE vocab words, and look at her in disdain when she mentions the college she went to. (Which is a good school) I understand her pain. When this happens to me, I just let these people be. ALthough I completely agree with her if someone acts like other colleges are nothing compared to their school.

I'm quite happy with the university I'm attending. C and I work at the same place which is affiliated with the University I attend. I mentioned to C that one of my friends is applying for a Post-Bac program at Harvard. Somehow, the conversation ended up with C going on about all the things wrong with my school, and all the things right with Harvard. (she's taken a few classes at Harvard)

To be honest, I dont know the intricacies about my school. I'm just happy I'm going. I dont know if one school is truly better than the other, because I believe it is all subjective. There are many wonderful schools out there that offer so many programs and have students working all over the world.

So I was quite amused with the way she was talking. I let her go on. I knew she felt comfortable going on since she got into a Ph.D program (not at Harvard) a couple days ago, so she has been feeling extra confident these days, and a little competitive with me. (Even though Im going for a masters in a different field)

She ended it with, "So thats why I'll always be a Harvard girl."

With that I smiled for a minute. Then erupted in laughter.

I didnt tell her why I was laughing. I didnt think it was anything to debate over, its not something i care about. She didnt ask why I was laughing.. She changed the subject really quick.

Did I mention she's going to study Psychology?...ahhh...I love observing people too.

I got one of the highest compliments today.

At precicely 3:17pm, my friend called me the Goddess of Cynicism!

YES!!

I want my tiara and sash NOW.

It all started with the whole Valentines Day Shmalentines Day talk. I mentioned how its just another form of commercialism by wrapping up every single candy in red and silvery paper and reselling it. Its another holiday for 'loved ones' to rush down to Hallmark, by some card, pick up some flowers, and toss out the receipt on the way home.

I saw the movie Hotel Rwanda recently (go see it). Everyone knew about the genocide, and no one did anything to stop it. Instead they told the world that they are working on it, and a couple people did some good things for a couple people, but the majority were neglected.

Valentines day is similar. Everyone knows about it. There are some people who will do sweet things for their significant other. The majority of people will be part of the neglected bunch or the last minute I-better-buy-something-to-NOT-get-in-trouble gift. But it sounds better to buy something than to say the holiday is full of shit.

I dont need another bear holding a heart. I dont need more chocolate. (wait, thats not true) I dont need someone to rush around to 'celebrate' our love on one specific day since thats what the media is forcing us to do.

You know what would be special for me? Hanging out on Valentines Day and saving the something special for the day after, or a couple weekends after. I want to have our own day and share it because we want to, and not because the world says so.

Why boyfriends have wanted to stay with me, I'll never know.

BIG NEWS.*

I know someone on a reality tv show!

Dont you want to be my friend now?*

I like some reality tv, although Im sick of it since there is no originality in tv anymore. Luckily the girl I know is on a show I can stand. The girl I know is not really I girl I know NOW. Or Anymore. I used to babysit her, and her family still lives near my parents family. So you see the tight* connection going on here.

With all the reality tv going on these days its easy to find someone who has the same tight* connection to the reality tv person as I have with mine. The funny thing is, it kind of makes you want to watch the show even more. My thought was a, "Hey I used to know you! What is someone from my town up to?"

So, yes, every once in a while I mention that I know this reality tv person. Some people respond with, "Really?!" And its so hard to be all casual and cool when you know someone on reality tv.* Used to know someone who is on reality tv now. Ok, havent had a real conversation with them since you stopped babysitting them, although the family still lives down the street from you. Although its useless to talk about if someone doesnt even watch the show at all.

She got eliminated though.

So I move on to bragging about the other famous person I once used to know years ago...someone on Dawson's Creek.

Oh yeah, you so want to be my friend now.*

All the *s in this post denote a huge amount of sarcasm.

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I currently go to school in a small city. It revolves around 3 colleges, and there are things to do, but you just have to find them. Its not like NYC where all you have to do is wake up and you'll find something interesting.

I have lived 20 minutes away from this small city for the majority of my life. Life has always been how it is.

Now being in grad school, surrounded by people who went to school in such places as Boston, Chicago, Philly, Richmond, and Taipei, people turn to me to vent about the small city.

"What is there to do here?"

"Is there anything to do here?"

"Everytime I go out in this city, I miss Philly more and more."

"How have you lived here for so long? You must like it."

"The weather sucks here. The shopping sucks. Everything sucks. Its so boring."

I did not build this city. Jefferson Starship did.

I never know how to respond to the complaints. Im not the town mayor. I go around, I find things to do. At the same time, it doesnt take much to entertain me. Most people in my class are between the ages of 23-26. While I still love to go out, going out with the youngin's is a little different. They're always looking for more. The school provides activities, but the students in my class seem bored by them. I dont understand how they feel because I have different things to do on a daily basis.

I think they could try more to make the best of what's around. It is hard to come here when you've been in a big city for 4 years, or your whole life. I cant help them either. My idea of fun has changed a lot in a couple years. So I know the age difference wont help them in finding the fun they desire.

Im sure when graduation rolls around, there will be a collective sigh of relief when they receive their diplomas and book their plane tickets.

People do and say some crazy things while drunk. But I think a good rule of thumb is not to drink if you're depressed or if you've recently ended a relationship.

Roomie broke up with her boyfriend of 4 years recently. She tried to maintain a friendship, but alas, it wasnt meant to be.

She opens her inbox and sees an email written from him at 4:00am.

The second line of the email was, "I masturbate and think of you." (Too much information post break-up!!)

Other grand lines included in this email were, "I really, really like you." (after 4 years?! Where is the Black Eyed Peas Love?!) and "You're one fit bird."

He wrote a follow up email apologizing for his email, which was just as bad as the original.

God help the drunks. (Including me in my moments)

Hidey Ho Blogger!

Im a bore these days. I had my first week of class, and its going. I think Im reeling from one of the grades from my class last semester. I could have done better, and I HATE it when my best isnt good enough.

A lot of life changing things happen to people around the early part of the New Year. Today alone I found out that 2 of my cousins (in India) wives are pregnant and due in a few months (somehow they didnt notify me!), one of my good friends in my class got engaged, and Im talking to a friend in India just got engaged.

These are times I wonder if Im just schlepping through my days. I've been thinking that a lot of my good friends who were born in 1975 and have birthdays this year will be turning 30. That sounds so adult. I dont feel like one though. I feel like me, and that Im a youngblood, and young-at-heart.

This is probably because I think about moving away after school. I've never lived in a place without some sort of friend or family member in the area. I would like to move to DC where there are a lot of job opportunities in my field, which would mean I would be over 6 hours away from home, my parents who are getting older, my niece who is getting bigger, and a whole lot of friends who will also move on with life.

This is all inevitable. But its hard to think about how a dream can take you away from the people who supported your journey all the way through.

Today is the start of a new semester. Crikey!

Although yesterday I had a bum day.

On Saturday, my mom asked me to go shopping with her on Sunday. I was really looking forward to this since we havent done any mother/daughter events in a very long time. She told me that she had to go somewhere in the morning, but to come to their place at 2pm.

So I got to the 'rents house at 2pm sharp. Waited. Saw all the bad tv there is to see, and settled on a movie on the Indian station to brush up some language skills. 3 rolled around, and no mommy. So I made myself lunch. She calls at 3:15 saying she'll be home in an hour. 4:45pm came, and I decided to leave. Just as I was pulling out, she was pulling in, so instead of going home, I went to the drugstore to buy some notebooks. I came home, and one of my aunt's was with her. My mom took an out of state trip and thought she's be back by 2. Then she told me she had to drop of Aunty back at her place, and I was invited there for dinner. I was pretty upset and said, "You said you would be home by 2, and I've been waiting for 3 hours!"

With that I stormed upstairs, like any angry child would do.

I went to the bathroom and when I came out Mom was standing there. She asked me if I was really mad, and I said yes. Then she gave me a hug and apologized and said we would go another day. She made me a quick dinner and then left.

Even though I knew she genuinely felt sorry, I was still pretty upset, I guess I didnt realize how much I was looking forward to an afternoon with my mom. After a short cry in the car, I stopped at the video store to pick up a movie I've been waiting to see: Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. I needed a laugh.

I've heard rave reviews about this movie. I have to say, parts of it were good, but as a whole, I didn't really like it. So that was no good.

Then at night, I was on the phone with CLS Boy. He sent me some pics of our trip to Burlington, and there is one of me that I HATE. I asked him to delete it. It was really cold, its a close up of my face, and I have a God-awful expression. All I asked him was, "Can you delete that picture? I hate it!" Then he said, "You're just wearing a bulky coat, you're not fat." My response, "Uh, I didnt think I looked fat, I hate my expression. But thanks."

After that, my very sick roomie and I watched an awful show on Vh1 called the Surreal Life. We thought it was awful until we saw Marcus Schenkenberg wearing only boxers. No shirt. No socks. Just boxers and his hot body.

And I found my silver lining for the day.