Monday, March 29, 2004

I am single. (This should come as no surprise to any regular reader of this blog)

It is plainly obvious that I am single. I dont hide it. I also have no significant other to speak of.

Sadly enough, there are people who believe that the lack of my discussion about any significant other in my life from my point of view, means I am hiding someone. Which makes me want to say, "Yes idiot. I have a little iddy biddy someone sitting in the far corner of my back pocket!"

Moving on. These people need an answer as to why I am single. There are 100000 other topics to discuss in life, but the one question that pops out of their mouth is...

"Why are you still single?"

You know what? I dont know. How do you respond to that?

I have figured out different ways to answer this question.

1) I am single, because I am not dating anyone. How's that for luck?

2) Me + Dipshit will eventually equal single anyway.

3) I dont like to share my bed.

4) Because I want to save all the drama for my mama.

5) Boyfriend? No thanks. I'm fabulous enough for two.

6) I know when I'm having a fat day, an ugly day, a crappy day, a bitchy day, a PMS-ridden day, a low serotonin day, or all these days rolled up into one. I dont need a second opinion.

7)If I stay single, someone may adopt me for 10 cents a day. If there are two, the cost goes up.

8)If I dated, I wouldnt be able to take the "Which astrological sign is right for you," the "Are you waiting for Mr.Right to sweep you off your feet," the "Which celebrity is your ideal mate," and lest not forget the "Are you sabotaging your love life" quizzes with the utmost honesty and sincerity.

9) Do you know how hard it is to get TWO tickets for The Lion King?

10) Because I just love hearing this question. Every fucking day.


As you know I work with many Europeans. I am now learning a bit of Hungarian, a bit of German, with some Italian sprinkled on the side. In order to learn any foreign language properly, you must always learn the bad words and phrases FIRST.

I have found one such resourceful site.

This could also help answer the "Why are you single?" question in a multitude of languages.

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