Monday, March 01, 2004


This weekend was so beautiful. The sun was shining! I went to NYC, and had a nice time. I met my cousin for lunch, and we had Malaysian food at Penang at 71st and Columbus. It was soooooooooooooo yummy! Then we walked around Central Park, where there was loads of eye candy. (Let me tell you, I was NOT short of eye candy this weekend!) Afterwards we walked through the Time Warner Mall which is huge and delicious.

I wont really go in detail about the weekend. It was nice to be with friends. I went to a party, and then my friend and I went to S.R.O. afterwards, and went home. Sunday I went to Union Square (near where I used to live). I walked by myself. I ended up at the East Village, looking at the dogs in the dog park (in Tompkins Square park). Then I moved along and walked some more, til I got starved, and got a pizza at the Po' Boys Pizza in the West Village. At that point, my friend called me and we decided to meet up. So I walked back to Union Square, with The Economist in hand, and sat on the steps in the sun, reading, and occasionally looking up to people watch.

So my friend came, and ran into his friends as he was exiting the subway, right in front of the Virgin Record Store. THey were all going to the Museum of Sex. I really wanted to go, but my friend was in an off mood so we didnt go. (Which meant I couldnt get to know his cute Turkish friend) So we walked some more...Prince Street, Mulberry Street, SoHo... then finally I had to go home.

I was very happy walking around. I love it. The Sun, People, Activity! Walking helps me clear my head, and I think I finally found out why I've been in a foul mood.

I havent been donating time for myself.

Its a weird thing to admit, because its not something I think about. My weekend was going out with my friends who already had places to go. I felt a little like a tagalong, even though they didnt feel that way about me. I have places I want to see and try out too. When I was walking through the East Village, it came to me like lightning. I think I do put myself first sometimes, but maybe not enough? Just saying it makes me feel so selfish. The funny thing is, Im not sure what to do about it. Im doing so many things for myself and my future that I get gray hair worrying about it. I dont understand why I need more time for myself.

Right now I feel great. I played squash for the first time with one of the Hungarian guys in the lab. I have muscle pain everywhere! I feel great though. Maybe some toxins got released from my body. Maybe its because I relieved stress by hitting a little ball. Maybe its because when I asked my Hungarian friend what CD was playing, he called it Early Joy...then he described what he was talking about...and what he meant to say was "Premature Ejaculation." Having someone trying to figure out in English what the actual word is is the most hilarious thing in the world. (Im very sensitive to those perfecting their English in the U.S., but this honestly had me gripping for my sides)

Maybe there's a slight chance I'll be Ok.

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