Grad School is interesting...
When I tell people where I go to school, they react quite approvingly thinking we're all superintelligent and philosophize all day long.
This is not the case.
I never thought I would be in grad school asking the person next to me what they got for #9.
...one day in class, I didnt collect the handout in the beginning of class. I sat in between my two friends, and CP offered her handout so I could look on.
So as the lecture was going on my friend DC, who was on the other side of me asked me, "Why arent you looking at mine?"
I said that I was looking at CP's, and I'd look at his too. Then CP said, "Dr.P is my friend."
DC says, "No, she's my friend!"
CP: "She's in my division!"
DC: "She likes me better than you!"
CP: "I knew her longer!"
DC: "Well I have a penis!"
After this, a bunch of people in front of us turned around and I tried to hide behind my hair.
Grad school. Its really for anybody.
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Sunday, October 24, 2004
I had a rough week last week. I was really down, even my roommate was concerned. The thing was, I could pinpoint exactly what was bothering me. I just didnt know how to come out of my funk.
I knew I wanted something from someone. I wanted help. I didnt know how to get it, and who to get it from. I wanted to hear what I needed to hear. Although I myself couldnt define what that was.
Throughout the course of the week, I was given different kinds of advice from various advisors:
1) Advice from a budding psychologist who analyzed why I was behaving the way I was, and what I need to do to change.
This didnt work.
2) Motherly advice (not from my mom, but from a friend who spoke to me with a motherly tone)--This advice was filled with support, with a sprinkle of advice, and a side of what necessary things I need to do to make myself better.
This didnt work either.
3) The Fragile advisor-- Who spoke to me like I was going to break, and like they would break if I didnt feel better.
If you know me at all, this is NOT the way to talk to me when I'm down.
4) Random advisor who asked me if I was ok and to keep my head up.
5) The Dr.Phil-in-your-face-advisor--Oh you're having trouble with that?!...well, how's that working for you?!
The winner:
My friend in class who is a 2nd year student. She spoke to me like a normal person, giving me advice from a person who understands even just a little. I didnt think I would find what I needed to hear, but she was so honest and sincere and gave me the wisdom I needed to pick myself up. The best part was I didnt even have to go in depth of why I was frustrated.
I guess you cant always count on the same people to give you advice all the time. You cant guarantee that they will tell you what you need to hear. Sometimes cliche is not what I want. Logically its easy to tell yourself some cliches. I'm usually good at picking myself up. I couldnt do it this week. I knew I needed help. I didnt know what to say or who to say it to. I didnt know who to reveal myself to. I didnt want to reveal myself. But with my 2nd year friend, I didnt have to. I said one sentence. I didnt even expect to open myself up in any way, but the words started flowing.
There are times when it takes a different kind of person to tell you the words you need to hear. Even if its someone who doesnt know me that well. She was someone who read into me or something. I dont know what it was. I'm glad the words clicked in my head. I'm thankful.
I knew I wanted something from someone. I wanted help. I didnt know how to get it, and who to get it from. I wanted to hear what I needed to hear. Although I myself couldnt define what that was.
Throughout the course of the week, I was given different kinds of advice from various advisors:
1) Advice from a budding psychologist who analyzed why I was behaving the way I was, and what I need to do to change.
This didnt work.
2) Motherly advice (not from my mom, but from a friend who spoke to me with a motherly tone)--This advice was filled with support, with a sprinkle of advice, and a side of what necessary things I need to do to make myself better.
This didnt work either.
3) The Fragile advisor-- Who spoke to me like I was going to break, and like they would break if I didnt feel better.
If you know me at all, this is NOT the way to talk to me when I'm down.
4) Random advisor who asked me if I was ok and to keep my head up.
5) The Dr.Phil-in-your-face-advisor--Oh you're having trouble with that?!...well, how's that working for you?!
The winner:
My friend in class who is a 2nd year student. She spoke to me like a normal person, giving me advice from a person who understands even just a little. I didnt think I would find what I needed to hear, but she was so honest and sincere and gave me the wisdom I needed to pick myself up. The best part was I didnt even have to go in depth of why I was frustrated.
I guess you cant always count on the same people to give you advice all the time. You cant guarantee that they will tell you what you need to hear. Sometimes cliche is not what I want. Logically its easy to tell yourself some cliches. I'm usually good at picking myself up. I couldnt do it this week. I knew I needed help. I didnt know what to say or who to say it to. I didnt know who to reveal myself to. I didnt want to reveal myself. But with my 2nd year friend, I didnt have to. I said one sentence. I didnt even expect to open myself up in any way, but the words started flowing.
There are times when it takes a different kind of person to tell you the words you need to hear. Even if its someone who doesnt know me that well. She was someone who read into me or something. I dont know what it was. I'm glad the words clicked in my head. I'm thankful.
Monday, October 04, 2004
Ok, I should be in stats class. But Im not. I never use my notes when I do homework anyway. I use the book.
Midterm week is coming up. I could have sworn I just started school.
In light of that, I tried to give myself a semi-relaxing weekend. I wanted to do something that required being outside since the temperature is going down, so I proposed we go to Mystic Seaport.
Mystic is a cute, New England shoreline town. Mystic Seaport has all the old boats and you can go through them. The area has all these historical artifacts, they have an old schoolhouse, a tavern, old houses, and in some of these places they re-enact how life was conducted back then. We went into the little church, and there was a tape of a sermon going on. We were the only people in the church, so I gave him a little kiss. Then I had to celebrate. I kissed a boy in a church! In the middle of a sermon!! I'm so bad...heh heh.
Afterwards we went to Mystic Pizza, where the movie Mystic Pizza was filmed. Pizza was yum. Then we went for ice cream by the drawbridge. We walked around and talked for a bit. While we were talking, I realized why I'm happy with him. We're not just dating, we have a friendship too. That's made all the difference.
As we were walking back to the car, we saw the drawbridge go up, and the boat go through. I've never seen one before, so it was fun.
Then on Sunday, I went to my best friends sister's wedding. My first Muslim wedding. It was lots of fun. The only part I felt bad about is that I had met one of sister's friends at a pre-wedding dinner (actually, sister's hubby converted to Islam in August, and there was a dinner for that). He came up to me and said, "Hi Dr.P! I saw you when you came in and wanted to say hi!" Too bad I couldnt say hello back, because I completely blanked on his name. I tried all these tactics to make him say his name, but he didnt comply. Finally my best friend walked over to say hi, and I stood next to her and slyly asked her.
Today I woke up cranky. Im mad at school. Thats such a whiny thing to say. Its just tough. I have the ability to do well in school with a LOT of hard work. I dont have that natural ability. So I'm getting frustrated since Im doing all the work (and then some), but not getting the grades I want. I hate writing assigments since they are subjective. I hate math assignments because I suck at them. Im mad that Im not motivated to go to class today. That should be motivation in itself. People say that it doesnt matter since we dont get letter grades, just a Fail, Pass, High Pass and Honors. I want the satisfaction of knowing that I know what Im doing.
Of oourse I've joined a journal club, advertising at an auction to benefit homeless shelters, and a group dance performance. I work 2 days a week, and I've squeezed in doctors appointments. I suppose slowing down is an option. I didnt have all these choices when I was in school in India, so I want to take them while I can.
I feel a bit better now. My vitamin must be kicking in. I think I can make it to and through my next class.
Midterm week is coming up. I could have sworn I just started school.
In light of that, I tried to give myself a semi-relaxing weekend. I wanted to do something that required being outside since the temperature is going down, so I proposed we go to Mystic Seaport.
Mystic is a cute, New England shoreline town. Mystic Seaport has all the old boats and you can go through them. The area has all these historical artifacts, they have an old schoolhouse, a tavern, old houses, and in some of these places they re-enact how life was conducted back then. We went into the little church, and there was a tape of a sermon going on. We were the only people in the church, so I gave him a little kiss. Then I had to celebrate. I kissed a boy in a church! In the middle of a sermon!! I'm so bad...heh heh.
Afterwards we went to Mystic Pizza, where the movie Mystic Pizza was filmed. Pizza was yum. Then we went for ice cream by the drawbridge. We walked around and talked for a bit. While we were talking, I realized why I'm happy with him. We're not just dating, we have a friendship too. That's made all the difference.
As we were walking back to the car, we saw the drawbridge go up, and the boat go through. I've never seen one before, so it was fun.
Then on Sunday, I went to my best friends sister's wedding. My first Muslim wedding. It was lots of fun. The only part I felt bad about is that I had met one of sister's friends at a pre-wedding dinner (actually, sister's hubby converted to Islam in August, and there was a dinner for that). He came up to me and said, "Hi Dr.P! I saw you when you came in and wanted to say hi!" Too bad I couldnt say hello back, because I completely blanked on his name. I tried all these tactics to make him say his name, but he didnt comply. Finally my best friend walked over to say hi, and I stood next to her and slyly asked her.
Today I woke up cranky. Im mad at school. Thats such a whiny thing to say. Its just tough. I have the ability to do well in school with a LOT of hard work. I dont have that natural ability. So I'm getting frustrated since Im doing all the work (and then some), but not getting the grades I want. I hate writing assigments since they are subjective. I hate math assignments because I suck at them. Im mad that Im not motivated to go to class today. That should be motivation in itself. People say that it doesnt matter since we dont get letter grades, just a Fail, Pass, High Pass and Honors. I want the satisfaction of knowing that I know what Im doing.
Of oourse I've joined a journal club, advertising at an auction to benefit homeless shelters, and a group dance performance. I work 2 days a week, and I've squeezed in doctors appointments. I suppose slowing down is an option. I didnt have all these choices when I was in school in India, so I want to take them while I can.
I feel a bit better now. My vitamin must be kicking in. I think I can make it to and through my next class.
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
Thursday, September 23, 2004
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
I had yet another lovely, relaxing weekend in Vermont. It was a last minute decision to go. I was real stressed over school. Cried on Friday. Was very fidgety and very hungry on Saturday. So I went. We had a great time. I left early on Sunday, de-stressed and ready to do work.
As Im driving along the highway, my car goes into the shoulder of the highway just a tad. Suddenly I hear a loud "POP!" Instead of driving along a smooth highway, I felt like I was driving on gravel. I thought I could make it to an exit, but when the aroma of burning rubber filled the air on the inside of my car, I promptly pulled over.
So there I was, on the side of the highway. Cars flying by causing my car to rattle. I jumped outside my car and saw my tire absolutely shredded. It looked like someone shot my tire. Who knows how it actually happened.
I know how to change a spare, but I was a little nervous doing that on the highway. I called AAA only to find out that my name is not on my parents card, so they cant help me. (Oh yeah, Im all independent now) I call CLS boy to look up a few numbers online, as I called information to give me a tow truck number.
Information: "What city and state please?"
Me: "Well, my tire popped and Im stuck on the side of the highway in Northampton, Massachusetts. I was wondering if you could give me the number of a tow truck company."
Information: "Dont you have AAA?" (AAA is the 24 hour, nationwide, tow truck car fix it people)
Me (thinking): I called for information, not advice.
What I said: No.
Then she gave me a number.
Sitting on the side of the highway by yourself is a little nervewracking. Cars zooming by, you wonder if your new address will be "Somewhere between exits 17 and 18 on 91 South."
I talked to CLS Boy for a bit and then let him go. I figured its a good time to make phone calls and time would pass. I call my friend in Colorado.
"Hey Jay, its Dr.P!"
"Hey Dr.P! WHat are you up to?!"
"Well, right now, Im on the side of the highway waiting for the tow truck to come."
"What?!"
I told him the story which he found highly amusing.
Tow truck came within 30 minutes and attached the donut tire. Got the tire changed the other day. All is well for the moment.
THIS is one good reason we need cell phones!!
As Im driving along the highway, my car goes into the shoulder of the highway just a tad. Suddenly I hear a loud "POP!" Instead of driving along a smooth highway, I felt like I was driving on gravel. I thought I could make it to an exit, but when the aroma of burning rubber filled the air on the inside of my car, I promptly pulled over.
So there I was, on the side of the highway. Cars flying by causing my car to rattle. I jumped outside my car and saw my tire absolutely shredded. It looked like someone shot my tire. Who knows how it actually happened.
I know how to change a spare, but I was a little nervous doing that on the highway. I called AAA only to find out that my name is not on my parents card, so they cant help me. (Oh yeah, Im all independent now) I call CLS boy to look up a few numbers online, as I called information to give me a tow truck number.
Information: "What city and state please?"
Me: "Well, my tire popped and Im stuck on the side of the highway in Northampton, Massachusetts. I was wondering if you could give me the number of a tow truck company."
Information: "Dont you have AAA?" (AAA is the 24 hour, nationwide, tow truck car fix it people)
Me (thinking): I called for information, not advice.
What I said: No.
Then she gave me a number.
Sitting on the side of the highway by yourself is a little nervewracking. Cars zooming by, you wonder if your new address will be "Somewhere between exits 17 and 18 on 91 South."
I talked to CLS Boy for a bit and then let him go. I figured its a good time to make phone calls and time would pass. I call my friend in Colorado.
"Hey Jay, its Dr.P!"
"Hey Dr.P! WHat are you up to?!"
"Well, right now, Im on the side of the highway waiting for the tow truck to come."
"What?!"
I told him the story which he found highly amusing.
Tow truck came within 30 minutes and attached the donut tire. Got the tire changed the other day. All is well for the moment.
THIS is one good reason we need cell phones!!
Friday, September 17, 2004
Throughout the week, I've been talking to a friend of mine who has been alluding to "an important doctors appointment." I asked her if she was ok, and she said that she was fine. I let her know that my door was open if she wanted to talk.
Yesterday evening, we were both studying together. She says to me, "I should tell you about my doctor's appointment." I didnt say anything because I felt like she wanted to tell me something.
She begins:
"Sometime I ago I went through a major depression. I came out of it by myself without the help of any drugs. But I hate my body. I've been diagnosed with Body Dysmorphic disorder. My hate for my body takes up so much of my thought process. I hate my breasts. I feel like if they were bigger I'd be more beautiful and confident. I didnt even attempt to go to the beach this summer. I'm going to see a plastic surgeon tomorrow. This is a big step for me. My family supports me in my decision. So there goes your perfect image of me."
I was floored. This girl exercises all the time. She eats right. She has a body other girls would die for. Other girls would ask plastic surgeons to make a body like hers for themselves. She's a size 3 and wears extra-small t-shirts. You get the picture.
She's so smart, bubbly, confident and even a bit feminist. I dont understand why she feels the need to do this.
I told her that it sounds like she's thought it through, so I support her too.
Then I couldnt stop thinking about what she told me. I've been so disturbed by it. She fighting with her own mind which is playing tricks on her. There is nothing I can do for her. I want to go into her brain and change the way she sees herself. Does everyone go through a depression at some point in their life? I've been a few, I wonder if I went to a psychiatrist at at that time, would I have been diagnosed with some underlying mental disorder? (I wouldnt have been surprised) I feel like everyone has an inner demon to battle with. Some people can fight it, some surpress it, and some lose their battle. I have my own demons to deal with also. I have found a way to deal with them. Some days I cant and I cry, and some days I laugh them away.
All of this makes me wonder if confidence is just part of an image or is it a real feeling?
Yesterday evening, we were both studying together. She says to me, "I should tell you about my doctor's appointment." I didnt say anything because I felt like she wanted to tell me something.
She begins:
"Sometime I ago I went through a major depression. I came out of it by myself without the help of any drugs. But I hate my body. I've been diagnosed with Body Dysmorphic disorder. My hate for my body takes up so much of my thought process. I hate my breasts. I feel like if they were bigger I'd be more beautiful and confident. I didnt even attempt to go to the beach this summer. I'm going to see a plastic surgeon tomorrow. This is a big step for me. My family supports me in my decision. So there goes your perfect image of me."
I was floored. This girl exercises all the time. She eats right. She has a body other girls would die for. Other girls would ask plastic surgeons to make a body like hers for themselves. She's a size 3 and wears extra-small t-shirts. You get the picture.
She's so smart, bubbly, confident and even a bit feminist. I dont understand why she feels the need to do this.
I told her that it sounds like she's thought it through, so I support her too.
Then I couldnt stop thinking about what she told me. I've been so disturbed by it. She fighting with her own mind which is playing tricks on her. There is nothing I can do for her. I want to go into her brain and change the way she sees herself. Does everyone go through a depression at some point in their life? I've been a few, I wonder if I went to a psychiatrist at at that time, would I have been diagnosed with some underlying mental disorder? (I wouldnt have been surprised) I feel like everyone has an inner demon to battle with. Some people can fight it, some surpress it, and some lose their battle. I have my own demons to deal with also. I have found a way to deal with them. Some days I cant and I cry, and some days I laugh them away.
All of this makes me wonder if confidence is just part of an image or is it a real feeling?
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
I'm connected to wireless! I dont know whose wireless, but Im sending them good tidings in spirit.
Blogging has been put on the back burner. I miss having an income, but I keep telling myself this is all worth it in the end. I forgot the joy in having homework again.
When I pictured myself in any sort of Grad school, I never thought I'd be asking someone,"Hey, what did you get for number 9?"..."Oh thats what I got. Cool. It must be right then. Yeah. Lets hope anyway."
I was called well-adjusted the other day. A week and a half of class and someone thinks they can read me...wait til they find out.
The strange thing about being in class, is no matter what, there are still those people who feel the need to hear themselves speak in class. The people who always raise their hands. Granted, some have something to say. Others just want us to know who they are. Just like I did back in the day, I roll my eyes.
I participate in class too. Im getting used to that. At first I was nervous to give my thought in front of 130 people. I want to get used to it, mainly because I want to overcome a fear that Im in a minority of thought. Its an odd fear. I must have the whole "Strength in Numbers" instilled in me. I dont like that.
Im doing all sorts of things. When I was in India, we didnt have extra-curricular activities in my school. (this does NOT apply for every school in India) It was very strict and conservative. Now I have access to so much, I literally go for everything just to get a taste. I've joined some clubs/journal editing groups and that kind of thing. We are very lucky in this world, to have so much we can learn and be exposed to at our fingertips.
Anyway, enough procrastinating. Homework time. Ugh. Any statisticians out there?
Blogging has been put on the back burner. I miss having an income, but I keep telling myself this is all worth it in the end. I forgot the joy in having homework again.
When I pictured myself in any sort of Grad school, I never thought I'd be asking someone,"Hey, what did you get for number 9?"..."Oh thats what I got. Cool. It must be right then. Yeah. Lets hope anyway."
I was called well-adjusted the other day. A week and a half of class and someone thinks they can read me...wait til they find out.
The strange thing about being in class, is no matter what, there are still those people who feel the need to hear themselves speak in class. The people who always raise their hands. Granted, some have something to say. Others just want us to know who they are. Just like I did back in the day, I roll my eyes.
I participate in class too. Im getting used to that. At first I was nervous to give my thought in front of 130 people. I want to get used to it, mainly because I want to overcome a fear that Im in a minority of thought. Its an odd fear. I must have the whole "Strength in Numbers" instilled in me. I dont like that.
Im doing all sorts of things. When I was in India, we didnt have extra-curricular activities in my school. (this does NOT apply for every school in India) It was very strict and conservative. Now I have access to so much, I literally go for everything just to get a taste. I've joined some clubs/journal editing groups and that kind of thing. We are very lucky in this world, to have so much we can learn and be exposed to at our fingertips.
Anyway, enough procrastinating. Homework time. Ugh. Any statisticians out there?
Friday, September 10, 2004
Good Golly Miss Molly school has been a doozy.
A ton of work, and not enough hours in the day. I get frustrated mainly because Im still in the middle of setting up my place. I've had to take care of my parents house too since they are away. AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!
I love my new place. My roomie is fantastic. We've decorated it a bit. Its so cute now.
The two main things I hate about living away from home:
1. I miss Mom's cooking. Im living off bread, hummus and cheese. My roomie eats organic fruits and vegetables. Her food shelf almonds, Go Lean cereal, sunflower seeds. My shelf: Ring Dings, Puffins cereal, Potato chips.
2. I HATE parking on the street. I hate parallel parking. I cant do it, so I guess I cant hate it. I can do it if the space is big enough. Otherwise Im taking half the day to fit my car in an appropriate part of the street. Theres always a car I want to kick a couple inches forward so I can create more space for me. I also hate the "Dont park the car on the left side of the streets on Wednesdays. Dont park your car on the right side of the street on Thursdays. Your car should not be seen on 2nd and 4th Tuesdays of every month" signs. Where do we put the car then? Its a bitch.
Other than that, I love my new life. Its weird to have an entire space that is my own. It feels so good. Even though no one is at my parents place, I cant wait to head home. We even have an alcohol cabinet.
By the way, we're having a Halloween party. Everyone's invited.
A ton of work, and not enough hours in the day. I get frustrated mainly because Im still in the middle of setting up my place. I've had to take care of my parents house too since they are away. AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!
I love my new place. My roomie is fantastic. We've decorated it a bit. Its so cute now.
The two main things I hate about living away from home:
1. I miss Mom's cooking. Im living off bread, hummus and cheese. My roomie eats organic fruits and vegetables. Her food shelf almonds, Go Lean cereal, sunflower seeds. My shelf: Ring Dings, Puffins cereal, Potato chips.
2. I HATE parking on the street. I hate parallel parking. I cant do it, so I guess I cant hate it. I can do it if the space is big enough. Otherwise Im taking half the day to fit my car in an appropriate part of the street. Theres always a car I want to kick a couple inches forward so I can create more space for me. I also hate the "Dont park the car on the left side of the streets on Wednesdays. Dont park your car on the right side of the street on Thursdays. Your car should not be seen on 2nd and 4th Tuesdays of every month" signs. Where do we put the car then? Its a bitch.
Other than that, I love my new life. Its weird to have an entire space that is my own. It feels so good. Even though no one is at my parents place, I cant wait to head home. We even have an alcohol cabinet.
By the way, we're having a Halloween party. Everyone's invited.
Thursday, September 02, 2004
Lookee here! A possible real post!
I should warn you that I've had so much going on this past week, this post may not be coherent in any way shape or form.
Monday was my first day of classes. It wasnt too hard to get back into the school mode...until I saw all of my syllabi (syllabuses?). All the reading and assignments there are is a bit overwhelming.
My class schedule is a bit overwhelming. (Notice the emotional trend beginning to happen) I have 5 required classes. I have another class which doesnt have any credits, but its one required for my division. 2 of my classes have these discussion sessions as well. Its a pretty full week.
Then I've had to buy books. The prices of those are a bit overwhelming.
Then I've had to move in the last bit of my stuff. Walking into the apartment was a bit overwhelming, since roomies stuff is all over the place. So now we have 2 sets of stuff all over the place. Roomie and I sat and chatted for a bit which was great. She's met a couple of our nosy neighbors. The one with the hearing aid kept stressing that we live in a very quiet neighborhood.
I've been cleaning up the house before Daddy-o comes home from India. Its not that bad, but amisdt all the moving and school, I havent really cared about cleanliness.
I havent made too many friends in class. Some people have already found little cliques that they've settled into. Im not a cliquey type of person, so I dont look for that. I've made some friends, but I dont make it a point to look for them everyday. Its only the fourth day of class. So far, I've met some good and interesting people. I'm not looking to make friends at the moment. I can barely keep up with the ones I have. I'm more worried about finishing all the work thats on my plate!
Good News: I got my laptop! Woohoo! I got a Dell Inspiron 8600.
Annoying incident: The first time the UPS guy tried to drop it off, I wasnt home. He wrote the date of the next attempt, and I knew I couldnt be home at that time. (It could not be delivered without my signature) So I decided to go pick it up. Since I got a free printer with my order, I was told I have two packages. Yesterday I went for two packages, and the lady there said I only have one. After haggling over an argument I was not going to win, I left and called UPS. They said there were 2 packages, and had the record that I signed for one. Now they're going to try and deliver it again today. I have to be in class until 1 today, so Im hoping they'll deliver it after that. They should wait on my doorstep with chocolate cake for me as far as I'm concerned. That was almost as annoying as knowing that the Republican National Convention is going on right now. I hate it when I try to do something to make my life easier, but it inevitably makes things more difficult.
I should warn you that I've had so much going on this past week, this post may not be coherent in any way shape or form.
Monday was my first day of classes. It wasnt too hard to get back into the school mode...until I saw all of my syllabi (syllabuses?). All the reading and assignments there are is a bit overwhelming.
My class schedule is a bit overwhelming. (Notice the emotional trend beginning to happen) I have 5 required classes. I have another class which doesnt have any credits, but its one required for my division. 2 of my classes have these discussion sessions as well. Its a pretty full week.
Then I've had to buy books. The prices of those are a bit overwhelming.
Then I've had to move in the last bit of my stuff. Walking into the apartment was a bit overwhelming, since roomies stuff is all over the place. So now we have 2 sets of stuff all over the place. Roomie and I sat and chatted for a bit which was great. She's met a couple of our nosy neighbors. The one with the hearing aid kept stressing that we live in a very quiet neighborhood.
I've been cleaning up the house before Daddy-o comes home from India. Its not that bad, but amisdt all the moving and school, I havent really cared about cleanliness.
I havent made too many friends in class. Some people have already found little cliques that they've settled into. Im not a cliquey type of person, so I dont look for that. I've made some friends, but I dont make it a point to look for them everyday. Its only the fourth day of class. So far, I've met some good and interesting people. I'm not looking to make friends at the moment. I can barely keep up with the ones I have. I'm more worried about finishing all the work thats on my plate!
Good News: I got my laptop! Woohoo! I got a Dell Inspiron 8600.
Annoying incident: The first time the UPS guy tried to drop it off, I wasnt home. He wrote the date of the next attempt, and I knew I couldnt be home at that time. (It could not be delivered without my signature) So I decided to go pick it up. Since I got a free printer with my order, I was told I have two packages. Yesterday I went for two packages, and the lady there said I only have one. After haggling over an argument I was not going to win, I left and called UPS. They said there were 2 packages, and had the record that I signed for one. Now they're going to try and deliver it again today. I have to be in class until 1 today, so Im hoping they'll deliver it after that. They should wait on my doorstep with chocolate cake for me as far as I'm concerned. That was almost as annoying as knowing that the Republican National Convention is going on right now. I hate it when I try to do something to make my life easier, but it inevitably makes things more difficult.
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Because I have NO time for a real post for the actual moment. Here is something to amuse you.
Stolen from Meegan's blog.
1. Your name spelled backwards.
anemolihP .rD
2. Where were your parents born?
Deep in the heart of India
3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
Midnight Train to Georgia--Gladys Knight and the Pips
4. What’s your favorite restaurant?
On the Border
5. Last time you swam in a pool?
4 years ago...I think.
6. Have you ever been in a school play?
Nope, I was stage design!
7. How many kids do you want?
as long as my ovaries dont rot by the time I want kids...3 sounds good.
8. Type of music you dislike most?
Some Opera. I dont like music that I cant understand the lyrics to.
9. Are you registered to vote?
I sure am!
10. Do you have cable?
Parents house--yes. New digs--not yet
11. Have you ever ridden on a moped?
Yep! I thought I was going to break it.
12. Ever prank call anybody?
I did the call and hang up. I couldnt handle the prank call. I'd start laughing at myself uncontrollably. Since caller ID came about, I wouldnt dream of it.
13. Ever get a parking ticket?
Nope, just speeding tickets. I make sure I park in a good place. If I park in a metered place, I know when to run out and add the quarters.
14. Would you go bungee jumping or skydiving?
Big yes to both!
15. Farthest place you ever traveled.
Singapore
16. Do you have a garden?
Parents house--yes. New digs--no
17. What’s your favorite comic strip?
Calivn and Hobbes! Garfield is right up there.
18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?
How could I not, after every American Olympic athlete would sing it if they won the gold. Actually my dad made me learn the Star Spangled Banner in the 2nd grade.
19. Bath or Shower, morning or night?
Shower in the morning and after any form of exercise or manual slave labor. I dont do baths just because Im too tall to relax comfortably in the tubby tub tub.
20. Best movie you’ve seen in the past month?
I havent been to the theatre at all this month. I saw an old Hindi Movie...Silsila on DVD.
21. Favorite pizza topping?
Mushroom and Pepperoni
22. Chips or popcorn?
Chips and salsa!
23. What color lipstick do you usually wear?
If I wear lipstick it's a dark chocolate shockolate brown.
24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells?
This is possible?
25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
You didnt see me on Miss Universe? *sarcasm*
26. Orange Juice or apple?
Orange
27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine?
BFF and we had Mexican food last week.
28. Favorite type chocolate bar?
Hershey's Milk Chocolate Bar
29. When was the last time you voted at the polls?
I've been out of the country in any voting process...this year will be my first!
30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
Saturday at our orientation picnic.
31. Have you ever won a trophy?
A few.
32. Are you a good cook?
Depends on who you ask. Im a relatively good cook, but I still have a ways to go.
33. Do you know how to pump your own gas?
This is a dumb question. Yes I do.
34. Ever order an article from an infomercial?
No. Im hooked to amazon.com.
35. Sprite or 7-up?
Whichever one has the vodka in it.
36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work?
Nope.
37. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy?
Toothpaste
38. Ever throw up in public?
I threw up in class in the 5th grade. Thats public enough.
39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love?
True Love. That lasts longer.
40. Do you believe in love at first sight?
No. Im an unromantic pessimist.
41. Ever call a 1-900 number?
Yup. Alyssa Milano had her own 900 number, and I called it to see what cool advice she would give. (This also in the 5th grade...I had some issues)
42. Can ex’s be friends?
The person who wrote this question is trying to mock me. Ex's can be friends, but there is a LIMIT to the friendship. LIMITS. LIMITS. LIMITS.
43. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital?
Considering I worked in one up until a few weeks ago...
44. Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby?
I had black fuzz til I was about 2.
45. What message is on your answering machine?
"Hi, you've reached Dr.P. I cant get to my phone right now, so if you leave a message, I'll call you back. Thanks!" Yes its all peppy and chirpy.
46. What’s your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character?
Dana Carvey acting as George Bush.
47. What was the name of your first pet?
Never had a pet.
48. What is in your purse?
2 pens, wallet, cell, shuttle schedule, NYC train schedule, keys. Some other shit.
49. Favorite thing to do before bedtime?
Favorite thing?I dont know. But I always brush my teeth before bedtime.
50. What is one thing you are grateful for today?
getting into school.
Stolen from Meegan's blog.
1. Your name spelled backwards.
anemolihP .rD
2. Where were your parents born?
Deep in the heart of India
3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
Midnight Train to Georgia--Gladys Knight and the Pips
4. What’s your favorite restaurant?
On the Border
5. Last time you swam in a pool?
4 years ago...I think.
6. Have you ever been in a school play?
Nope, I was stage design!
7. How many kids do you want?
as long as my ovaries dont rot by the time I want kids...3 sounds good.
8. Type of music you dislike most?
Some Opera. I dont like music that I cant understand the lyrics to.
9. Are you registered to vote?
I sure am!
10. Do you have cable?
Parents house--yes. New digs--not yet
11. Have you ever ridden on a moped?
Yep! I thought I was going to break it.
12. Ever prank call anybody?
I did the call and hang up. I couldnt handle the prank call. I'd start laughing at myself uncontrollably. Since caller ID came about, I wouldnt dream of it.
13. Ever get a parking ticket?
Nope, just speeding tickets. I make sure I park in a good place. If I park in a metered place, I know when to run out and add the quarters.
14. Would you go bungee jumping or skydiving?
Big yes to both!
15. Farthest place you ever traveled.
Singapore
16. Do you have a garden?
Parents house--yes. New digs--no
17. What’s your favorite comic strip?
Calivn and Hobbes! Garfield is right up there.
18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?
How could I not, after every American Olympic athlete would sing it if they won the gold. Actually my dad made me learn the Star Spangled Banner in the 2nd grade.
19. Bath or Shower, morning or night?
Shower in the morning and after any form of exercise or manual slave labor. I dont do baths just because Im too tall to relax comfortably in the tubby tub tub.
20. Best movie you’ve seen in the past month?
I havent been to the theatre at all this month. I saw an old Hindi Movie...Silsila on DVD.
21. Favorite pizza topping?
Mushroom and Pepperoni
22. Chips or popcorn?
Chips and salsa!
23. What color lipstick do you usually wear?
If I wear lipstick it's a dark chocolate shockolate brown.
24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells?
This is possible?
25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
You didnt see me on Miss Universe? *sarcasm*
26. Orange Juice or apple?
Orange
27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine?
BFF and we had Mexican food last week.
28. Favorite type chocolate bar?
Hershey's Milk Chocolate Bar
29. When was the last time you voted at the polls?
I've been out of the country in any voting process...this year will be my first!
30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
Saturday at our orientation picnic.
31. Have you ever won a trophy?
A few.
32. Are you a good cook?
Depends on who you ask. Im a relatively good cook, but I still have a ways to go.
33. Do you know how to pump your own gas?
This is a dumb question. Yes I do.
34. Ever order an article from an infomercial?
No. Im hooked to amazon.com.
35. Sprite or 7-up?
Whichever one has the vodka in it.
36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work?
Nope.
37. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy?
Toothpaste
38. Ever throw up in public?
I threw up in class in the 5th grade. Thats public enough.
39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love?
True Love. That lasts longer.
40. Do you believe in love at first sight?
No. Im an unromantic pessimist.
41. Ever call a 1-900 number?
Yup. Alyssa Milano had her own 900 number, and I called it to see what cool advice she would give. (This also in the 5th grade...I had some issues)
42. Can ex’s be friends?
The person who wrote this question is trying to mock me. Ex's can be friends, but there is a LIMIT to the friendship. LIMITS. LIMITS. LIMITS.
43. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital?
Considering I worked in one up until a few weeks ago...
44. Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby?
I had black fuzz til I was about 2.
45. What message is on your answering machine?
"Hi, you've reached Dr.P. I cant get to my phone right now, so if you leave a message, I'll call you back. Thanks!" Yes its all peppy and chirpy.
46. What’s your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character?
Dana Carvey acting as George Bush.
47. What was the name of your first pet?
Never had a pet.
48. What is in your purse?
2 pens, wallet, cell, shuttle schedule, NYC train schedule, keys. Some other shit.
49. Favorite thing to do before bedtime?
Favorite thing?I dont know. But I always brush my teeth before bedtime.
50. What is one thing you are grateful for today?
getting into school.
Saturday, August 28, 2004
What I've learned so far in Orientation:
Pub crawls can make people come together.
I've also learned some things about the program and stuff.
Thank You.
Pub crawls can make people come together.
I've also learned some things about the program and stuff.
Thank You.
Friday, August 27, 2004
Today was my first day of school.
It was long. It was crazy. I'm drained.
It was so strange being at school. I made small talk with so many people I lost count. Although I felt different. I lot of the 'kids' are fresh from undergrad. So they are peppy and perky about their new adventure. Im not really like that. Im in the get down to business mode. The youngins wonder where the bars are. I'm looking for my bed. It was actually beginning to stress me out. No. What was really stressing me out was 130 people being super-polite, and extra-friendly. I cant wait for the 'nice fronts' to fade, and the real personalities come out. Im not saying they are all going to be horrible people, but at least once the formalities are done, I can get a sense of how the person really is.
We do have a very diverse class, which is great. I guess I'm just ready to start my course so I can finish it and start work again. The finishing part will be in 2006, so its time to bust a move.
We had a dinner tonight. It was ok. I stuck around for a bit. Made some more small talk, and then left. I couldnt take it anymore. I was desperate for my alone time.
Im home, and happy to sit in silence. Tomorrow, I'll make more small talk, and hopefully not drive myself too crazy. If thats possible.
It was long. It was crazy. I'm drained.
It was so strange being at school. I made small talk with so many people I lost count. Although I felt different. I lot of the 'kids' are fresh from undergrad. So they are peppy and perky about their new adventure. Im not really like that. Im in the get down to business mode. The youngins wonder where the bars are. I'm looking for my bed. It was actually beginning to stress me out. No. What was really stressing me out was 130 people being super-polite, and extra-friendly. I cant wait for the 'nice fronts' to fade, and the real personalities come out. Im not saying they are all going to be horrible people, but at least once the formalities are done, I can get a sense of how the person really is.
We do have a very diverse class, which is great. I guess I'm just ready to start my course so I can finish it and start work again. The finishing part will be in 2006, so its time to bust a move.
We had a dinner tonight. It was ok. I stuck around for a bit. Made some more small talk, and then left. I couldnt take it anymore. I was desperate for my alone time.
Im home, and happy to sit in silence. Tomorrow, I'll make more small talk, and hopefully not drive myself too crazy. If thats possible.
If you're in Bangalore, please visit Madhu's new restaurant, Shiok Far-eastern Cuisine that serves good Thai, Malaysian, Indonesian, and Singaporean food. The restaurant is on CMH Road, Indiranagar, Bangalore.
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Compromises, Compromises.
How does one compromise without feeling like they lost?
Everyone wants their way. Sometimes when I look at a situation objectively, I know when to compromise. Other times, I may compromise, but then I feel like I'm giving in or that I've "lost."
I'm not always compromising in a bad way. My new roommate and I have been lucky enough to find happy mediums in almost every decision we have had to make together. Or we somehow talk it out until we come to a solution that is best. So even though I may not get everything I want, and neither does she, we are both getting something. I like this kind of compromising. Each party gives up a little of their beliefs, and come to a conclusion.
In relationships its quite different. Each person has their vision on how they want their life to be lived. There is also a vision of the type of person you end up with, and sure enough, the vision is all so perfect and wonderful.
Trying to combine two visions is proving difficult. Especially when there are a few extreme beliefs, and no happy medium. I'm not entirely sure if this has become a test of wills.
How does one compromise without feeling like they lost?
Everyone wants their way. Sometimes when I look at a situation objectively, I know when to compromise. Other times, I may compromise, but then I feel like I'm giving in or that I've "lost."
I'm not always compromising in a bad way. My new roommate and I have been lucky enough to find happy mediums in almost every decision we have had to make together. Or we somehow talk it out until we come to a solution that is best. So even though I may not get everything I want, and neither does she, we are both getting something. I like this kind of compromising. Each party gives up a little of their beliefs, and come to a conclusion.
In relationships its quite different. Each person has their vision on how they want their life to be lived. There is also a vision of the type of person you end up with, and sure enough, the vision is all so perfect and wonderful.
Trying to combine two visions is proving difficult. Especially when there are a few extreme beliefs, and no happy medium. I'm not entirely sure if this has become a test of wills.
Friday, August 20, 2004
For those of you from the Northeast...the reason for the torrential downpours this afternoon was not due to a warm fronted jet stream colliding with a cool front downstream that brought along the clouds which formed over Lake Michigan...
It occured because I washed my car this morning. I'm sorry to all those affected.
It occured because I washed my car this morning. I'm sorry to all those affected.
Thursday, August 19, 2004
I thought with my newfound (and shortlived) unemployment, I figured I would be able to blog everyday!
Even the unemployed get busy.
The unemployed ask themselves questions.
Much like this one...
Temper Control: When is it best to exhibit this sore quality?
Last night I got angry about something. Logically, I shouldnt get angry, but I was.
In my younger days, I was a bit of a volcano when I was angry. I would get angry and the planet would hear and feel my anger. I definitely toned down quite a bit. I display my volcanic anger when truly necessary. Really.
Nowadays, there are moments where on the inside, Im erupting. I've learned the art of the 10 second rule. It gives me a chance for realization...is it something worth getting angry about?
Last night I had a moment where I wasnt so sure if I should keep the temper in check. I did. Mainly because I played devil's advocate and saw both sides of the situation. (when you get a text message that makes you mad, you have more of a reaction time since its a pain in the ass to text) Part of me thinks Im angry because of the topic which was brought up. Its a topic that doesnt settle well with me, and logically (I hate this word), I know I cant be angry all the time.
Lately, I've been learning to accept emotions as they arise. There is a reason Im feeling what I'm feeling, even if it is irrational. I'm working on my filtering system of what is worth being expressed, and what needs to be dealt with on my own.
Life would be so much better if it were consequence free.
For example:
Me and what I would like to say to the one who needs enlightenment: You're a dumbass!
The consequence free response from the person I enlightened: Yes. You are entitled to your opinion. You are a Goddess. I will make things right to your specifications.
Sadly, this world only exists somewhere in my subconscious.
Even the unemployed get busy.
The unemployed ask themselves questions.
Much like this one...
Temper Control: When is it best to exhibit this sore quality?
Last night I got angry about something. Logically, I shouldnt get angry, but I was.
In my younger days, I was a bit of a volcano when I was angry. I would get angry and the planet would hear and feel my anger. I definitely toned down quite a bit. I display my volcanic anger when truly necessary. Really.
Nowadays, there are moments where on the inside, Im erupting. I've learned the art of the 10 second rule. It gives me a chance for realization...is it something worth getting angry about?
Last night I had a moment where I wasnt so sure if I should keep the temper in check. I did. Mainly because I played devil's advocate and saw both sides of the situation. (when you get a text message that makes you mad, you have more of a reaction time since its a pain in the ass to text) Part of me thinks Im angry because of the topic which was brought up. Its a topic that doesnt settle well with me, and logically (I hate this word), I know I cant be angry all the time.
Lately, I've been learning to accept emotions as they arise. There is a reason Im feeling what I'm feeling, even if it is irrational. I'm working on my filtering system of what is worth being expressed, and what needs to be dealt with on my own.
Life would be so much better if it were consequence free.
For example:
Me and what I would like to say to the one who needs enlightenment: You're a dumbass!
The consequence free response from the person I enlightened: Yes. You are entitled to your opinion. You are a Goddess. I will make things right to your specifications.
Sadly, this world only exists somewhere in my subconscious.
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
I finished cleaning out my closet. I cant believe all of the things I've saved over the years...old letters, old book reports from the 5th grade, dance costumes, to name a few.
Somehow, I cant seem to find the significant things that are required for my present life...my credit card, some transcripts from college in India, a ring...you know, the things I should really be saving.
Somehow, I cant seem to find the significant things that are required for my present life...my credit card, some transcripts from college in India, a ring...you know, the things I should really be saving.
Monday, August 16, 2004
Today is my first day of unemployement. I've taken on the daunting task of cleaning my room.
At this moment, Im cleaning out my closet, Eminem style. We've lived in this house for 17 years, and I've never cleaned my closet. Back in the day, cleaning my room meant putting everything in the closet.
I cant believe the things I've saved. Old letters, stories I wrote in elementary school, shoes, pens, a mess kit, my Cabbage Patch Suitcase, tap shoes, jazz shoes, tennis skirts, purses, notebooks from the seventh grade with all of my doodles on it, my Powder Puff jersey, a valentines day card from my first boyfriend (tossed!)...its an endless pit of memories. Even as I sort through everything, I cant believe how many emotional phases I've been through in my little life. Its weird to think that all those bits came from some part of me. And my handwriting?! All fat and curvy, fitting 4 words per line. (Needless to say, I have very neat handwriting now)
I'm sorting through everything. Reading the old papers before deciding if they should be thrown away or kept. I'm throwing more than I'm saving. In order to move forward, I have to let go.
Guess what I've saved the most number of?...Plastic Bags. Not just any plastic bags, but the ones from the brand name stores (Gap, The Limited, H&M, Old Navy). God forbid in high school, if a plastic bag was needed I used a grocery bag, or a bag from KMart!
Yeah. I've come a long way.
At this moment, Im cleaning out my closet, Eminem style. We've lived in this house for 17 years, and I've never cleaned my closet. Back in the day, cleaning my room meant putting everything in the closet.
I cant believe the things I've saved. Old letters, stories I wrote in elementary school, shoes, pens, a mess kit, my Cabbage Patch Suitcase, tap shoes, jazz shoes, tennis skirts, purses, notebooks from the seventh grade with all of my doodles on it, my Powder Puff jersey, a valentines day card from my first boyfriend (tossed!)...its an endless pit of memories. Even as I sort through everything, I cant believe how many emotional phases I've been through in my little life. Its weird to think that all those bits came from some part of me. And my handwriting?! All fat and curvy, fitting 4 words per line. (Needless to say, I have very neat handwriting now)
I'm sorting through everything. Reading the old papers before deciding if they should be thrown away or kept. I'm throwing more than I'm saving. In order to move forward, I have to let go.
Guess what I've saved the most number of?...Plastic Bags. Not just any plastic bags, but the ones from the brand name stores (Gap, The Limited, H&M, Old Navy). God forbid in high school, if a plastic bag was needed I used a grocery bag, or a bag from KMart!
Yeah. I've come a long way.