Wednesday, September 29, 2004

I've said it before, and I'll say it again...

Happiness is changing out of uncomfortable jeans into any form of elastic waistband pants.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Hi. Im hungry. Please leave me a quick and easy food/meal recipe.

I already know how to make Easy Mac macaroni, and I know how to call for take-out.

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

I had yet another lovely, relaxing weekend in Vermont. It was a last minute decision to go. I was real stressed over school. Cried on Friday. Was very fidgety and very hungry on Saturday. So I went. We had a great time. I left early on Sunday, de-stressed and ready to do work.

As Im driving along the highway, my car goes into the shoulder of the highway just a tad. Suddenly I hear a loud "POP!" Instead of driving along a smooth highway, I felt like I was driving on gravel. I thought I could make it to an exit, but when the aroma of burning rubber filled the air on the inside of my car, I promptly pulled over.

So there I was, on the side of the highway. Cars flying by causing my car to rattle. I jumped outside my car and saw my tire absolutely shredded. It looked like someone shot my tire. Who knows how it actually happened.

I know how to change a spare, but I was a little nervous doing that on the highway. I called AAA only to find out that my name is not on my parents card, so they cant help me. (Oh yeah, Im all independent now) I call CLS boy to look up a few numbers online, as I called information to give me a tow truck number.

Information: "What city and state please?"

Me: "Well, my tire popped and Im stuck on the side of the highway in Northampton, Massachusetts. I was wondering if you could give me the number of a tow truck company."

Information: "Dont you have AAA?" (AAA is the 24 hour, nationwide, tow truck car fix it people)

Me (thinking): I called for information, not advice.

What I said: No.

Then she gave me a number.

Sitting on the side of the highway by yourself is a little nervewracking. Cars zooming by, you wonder if your new address will be "Somewhere between exits 17 and 18 on 91 South."

I talked to CLS Boy for a bit and then let him go. I figured its a good time to make phone calls and time would pass. I call my friend in Colorado.

"Hey Jay, its Dr.P!"

"Hey Dr.P! WHat are you up to?!"

"Well, right now, Im on the side of the highway waiting for the tow truck to come."


I told him the story which he found highly amusing.

Tow truck came within 30 minutes and attached the donut tire. Got the tire changed the other day. All is well for the moment.

THIS is one good reason we need cell phones!!

Friday, September 17, 2004

Throughout the week, I've been talking to a friend of mine who has been alluding to "an important doctors appointment." I asked her if she was ok, and she said that she was fine. I let her know that my door was open if she wanted to talk.

Yesterday evening, we were both studying together. She says to me, "I should tell you about my doctor's appointment." I didnt say anything because I felt like she wanted to tell me something.

She begins:

"Sometime I ago I went through a major depression. I came out of it by myself without the help of any drugs. But I hate my body. I've been diagnosed with Body Dysmorphic disorder. My hate for my body takes up so much of my thought process. I hate my breasts. I feel like if they were bigger I'd be more beautiful and confident. I didnt even attempt to go to the beach this summer. I'm going to see a plastic surgeon tomorrow. This is a big step for me. My family supports me in my decision. So there goes your perfect image of me."

I was floored. This girl exercises all the time. She eats right. She has a body other girls would die for. Other girls would ask plastic surgeons to make a body like hers for themselves. She's a size 3 and wears extra-small t-shirts. You get the picture.

She's so smart, bubbly, confident and even a bit feminist. I dont understand why she feels the need to do this.

I told her that it sounds like she's thought it through, so I support her too.

Then I couldnt stop thinking about what she told me. I've been so disturbed by it. She fighting with her own mind which is playing tricks on her. There is nothing I can do for her. I want to go into her brain and change the way she sees herself. Does everyone go through a depression at some point in their life? I've been a few, I wonder if I went to a psychiatrist at at that time, would I have been diagnosed with some underlying mental disorder? (I wouldnt have been surprised) I feel like everyone has an inner demon to battle with. Some people can fight it, some surpress it, and some lose their battle. I have my own demons to deal with also. I have found a way to deal with them. Some days I cant and I cry, and some days I laugh them away.

All of this makes me wonder if confidence is just part of an image or is it a real feeling?

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

I'm connected to wireless! I dont know whose wireless, but Im sending them good tidings in spirit.

Blogging has been put on the back burner. I miss having an income, but I keep telling myself this is all worth it in the end. I forgot the joy in having homework again.

When I pictured myself in any sort of Grad school, I never thought I'd be asking someone,"Hey, what did you get for number 9?"..."Oh thats what I got. Cool. It must be right then. Yeah. Lets hope anyway."

I was called well-adjusted the other day. A week and a half of class and someone thinks they can read me...wait til they find out.

The strange thing about being in class, is no matter what, there are still those people who feel the need to hear themselves speak in class. The people who always raise their hands. Granted, some have something to say. Others just want us to know who they are. Just like I did back in the day, I roll my eyes.

I participate in class too. Im getting used to that. At first I was nervous to give my thought in front of 130 people. I want to get used to it, mainly because I want to overcome a fear that Im in a minority of thought. Its an odd fear. I must have the whole "Strength in Numbers" instilled in me. I dont like that.

Im doing all sorts of things. When I was in India, we didnt have extra-curricular activities in my school. (this does NOT apply for every school in India) It was very strict and conservative. Now I have access to so much, I literally go for everything just to get a taste. I've joined some clubs/journal editing groups and that kind of thing. We are very lucky in this world, to have so much we can learn and be exposed to at our fingertips.

Anyway, enough procrastinating. Homework time. Ugh. Any statisticians out there?

Friday, September 10, 2004

Good Golly Miss Molly school has been a doozy.

A ton of work, and not enough hours in the day. I get frustrated mainly because Im still in the middle of setting up my place. I've had to take care of my parents house too since they are away. AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!

I love my new place. My roomie is fantastic. We've decorated it a bit. Its so cute now.

The two main things I hate about living away from home:

1. I miss Mom's cooking. Im living off bread, hummus and cheese. My roomie eats organic fruits and vegetables. Her food shelf almonds, Go Lean cereal, sunflower seeds. My shelf: Ring Dings, Puffins cereal, Potato chips.

2. I HATE parking on the street. I hate parallel parking. I cant do it, so I guess I cant hate it. I can do it if the space is big enough. Otherwise Im taking half the day to fit my car in an appropriate part of the street. Theres always a car I want to kick a couple inches forward so I can create more space for me. I also hate the "Dont park the car on the left side of the streets on Wednesdays. Dont park your car on the right side of the street on Thursdays. Your car should not be seen on 2nd and 4th Tuesdays of every month" signs. Where do we put the car then? Its a bitch.

Other than that, I love my new life. Its weird to have an entire space that is my own. It feels so good. Even though no one is at my parents place, I cant wait to head home. We even have an alcohol cabinet.

By the way, we're having a Halloween party. Everyone's invited.

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Lookee here! A possible real post!

I should warn you that I've had so much going on this past week, this post may not be coherent in any way shape or form.

Monday was my first day of classes. It wasnt too hard to get back into the school mode...until I saw all of my syllabi (syllabuses?). All the reading and assignments there are is a bit overwhelming.

My class schedule is a bit overwhelming. (Notice the emotional trend beginning to happen) I have 5 required classes. I have another class which doesnt have any credits, but its one required for my division. 2 of my classes have these discussion sessions as well. Its a pretty full week.

Then I've had to buy books. The prices of those are a bit overwhelming.

Then I've had to move in the last bit of my stuff. Walking into the apartment was a bit overwhelming, since roomies stuff is all over the place. So now we have 2 sets of stuff all over the place. Roomie and I sat and chatted for a bit which was great. She's met a couple of our nosy neighbors. The one with the hearing aid kept stressing that we live in a very quiet neighborhood.

I've been cleaning up the house before Daddy-o comes home from India. Its not that bad, but amisdt all the moving and school, I havent really cared about cleanliness.

I havent made too many friends in class. Some people have already found little cliques that they've settled into. Im not a cliquey type of person, so I dont look for that. I've made some friends, but I dont make it a point to look for them everyday. Its only the fourth day of class. So far, I've met some good and interesting people. I'm not looking to make friends at the moment. I can barely keep up with the ones I have. I'm more worried about finishing all the work thats on my plate!

Good News: I got my laptop! Woohoo! I got a Dell Inspiron 8600.

Annoying incident: The first time the UPS guy tried to drop it off, I wasnt home. He wrote the date of the next attempt, and I knew I couldnt be home at that time. (It could not be delivered without my signature) So I decided to go pick it up. Since I got a free printer with my order, I was told I have two packages. Yesterday I went for two packages, and the lady there said I only have one. After haggling over an argument I was not going to win, I left and called UPS. They said there were 2 packages, and had the record that I signed for one. Now they're going to try and deliver it again today. I have to be in class until 1 today, so Im hoping they'll deliver it after that. They should wait on my doorstep with chocolate cake for me as far as I'm concerned. That was almost as annoying as knowing that the Republican National Convention is going on right now. I hate it when I try to do something to make my life easier, but it inevitably makes things more difficult.