Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Because I have NO time for a real post for the actual moment. Here is something to amuse you.

Stolen from Meegan's blog.

1. Your name spelled backwards.
anemolihP .rD

2. Where were your parents born?
Deep in the heart of India

3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
Midnight Train to Georgia--Gladys Knight and the Pips

4. What’s your favorite restaurant?
On the Border

5. Last time you swam in a pool?
4 years ago...I think.

6. Have you ever been in a school play?
Nope, I was stage design!

7. How many kids do you want?
as long as my ovaries dont rot by the time I want kids...3 sounds good.

8. Type of music you dislike most?
Some Opera. I dont like music that I cant understand the lyrics to.

9. Are you registered to vote?
I sure am!

10. Do you have cable?
Parents house--yes. New digs--not yet

11. Have you ever ridden on a moped?
Yep! I thought I was going to break it.

12. Ever prank call anybody?
I did the call and hang up. I couldnt handle the prank call. I'd start laughing at myself uncontrollably. Since caller ID came about, I wouldnt dream of it.

13. Ever get a parking ticket?
Nope, just speeding tickets. I make sure I park in a good place. If I park in a metered place, I know when to run out and add the quarters.

14. Would you go bungee jumping or skydiving?
Big yes to both!

15. Farthest place you ever traveled.

16. Do you have a garden?
Parents house--yes. New digs--no

17. What’s your favorite comic strip?
Calivn and Hobbes! Garfield is right up there.

18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?
How could I not, after every American Olympic athlete would sing it if they won the gold. Actually my dad made me learn the Star Spangled Banner in the 2nd grade.

19. Bath or Shower, morning or night?
Shower in the morning and after any form of exercise or manual slave labor. I dont do baths just because Im too tall to relax comfortably in the tubby tub tub.

20. Best movie you’ve seen in the past month?
I havent been to the theatre at all this month. I saw an old Hindi Movie...Silsila on DVD.

21. Favorite pizza topping?
Mushroom and Pepperoni

22. Chips or popcorn?
Chips and salsa!

23. What color lipstick do you usually wear?
If I wear lipstick it's a dark chocolate shockolate brown.

24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells?
This is possible?

25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
You didnt see me on Miss Universe? *sarcasm*

26. Orange Juice or apple?

27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine?
BFF and we had Mexican food last week.

28. Favorite type chocolate bar?
Hershey's Milk Chocolate Bar

29. When was the last time you voted at the polls?
I've been out of the country in any voting process...this year will be my first!

30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
Saturday at our orientation picnic.

31. Have you ever won a trophy?
A few.

32. Are you a good cook?
Depends on who you ask. Im a relatively good cook, but I still have a ways to go.

33. Do you know how to pump your own gas?
This is a dumb question. Yes I do.

34. Ever order an article from an infomercial?
No. Im hooked to amazon.com.

35. Sprite or 7-up?
Whichever one has the vodka in it.

36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work?

37. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy?

38. Ever throw up in public?
I threw up in class in the 5th grade. Thats public enough.

39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love?
True Love. That lasts longer.

40. Do you believe in love at first sight?
No. Im an unromantic pessimist.

41. Ever call a 1-900 number?
Yup. Alyssa Milano had her own 900 number, and I called it to see what cool advice she would give. (This also in the 5th grade...I had some issues)

42. Can ex’s be friends?
The person who wrote this question is trying to mock me. Ex's can be friends, but there is a LIMIT to the friendship. LIMITS. LIMITS. LIMITS.

43. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital?
Considering I worked in one up until a few weeks ago...

44. Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby?
I had black fuzz til I was about 2.

45. What message is on your answering machine?
"Hi, you've reached Dr.P. I cant get to my phone right now, so if you leave a message, I'll call you back. Thanks!" Yes its all peppy and chirpy.

46. What’s your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character?
Dana Carvey acting as George Bush.

47. What was the name of your first pet?
Never had a pet.

48. What is in your purse?
2 pens, wallet, cell, shuttle schedule, NYC train schedule, keys. Some other shit.

49. Favorite thing to do before bedtime?
Favorite thing?I dont know. But I always brush my teeth before bedtime.

50. What is one thing you are grateful for today?
getting into school.

Saturday, August 28, 2004

What I've learned so far in Orientation:

Pub crawls can make people come together.

I've also learned some things about the program and stuff.

Thank You.

Friday, August 27, 2004

Today was my first day of school.

It was long. It was crazy. I'm drained.

It was so strange being at school. I made small talk with so many people I lost count. Although I felt different. I lot of the 'kids' are fresh from undergrad. So they are peppy and perky about their new adventure. Im not really like that. Im in the get down to business mode. The youngins wonder where the bars are. I'm looking for my bed. It was actually beginning to stress me out. No. What was really stressing me out was 130 people being super-polite, and extra-friendly. I cant wait for the 'nice fronts' to fade, and the real personalities come out. Im not saying they are all going to be horrible people, but at least once the formalities are done, I can get a sense of how the person really is.

We do have a very diverse class, which is great. I guess I'm just ready to start my course so I can finish it and start work again. The finishing part will be in 2006, so its time to bust a move.

We had a dinner tonight. It was ok. I stuck around for a bit. Made some more small talk, and then left. I couldnt take it anymore. I was desperate for my alone time.

Im home, and happy to sit in silence. Tomorrow, I'll make more small talk, and hopefully not drive myself too crazy. If thats possible.

If you're in Bangalore, please visit Madhu's new restaurant, Shiok Far-eastern Cuisine that serves good Thai, Malaysian, Indonesian, and Singaporean food. The restaurant is on CMH Road, Indiranagar, Bangalore.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Compromises, Compromises.

How does one compromise without feeling like they lost?

Everyone wants their way. Sometimes when I look at a situation objectively, I know when to compromise. Other times, I may compromise, but then I feel like I'm giving in or that I've "lost."

I'm not always compromising in a bad way. My new roommate and I have been lucky enough to find happy mediums in almost every decision we have had to make together. Or we somehow talk it out until we come to a solution that is best. So even though I may not get everything I want, and neither does she, we are both getting something. I like this kind of compromising. Each party gives up a little of their beliefs, and come to a conclusion.

In relationships its quite different. Each person has their vision on how they want their life to be lived. There is also a vision of the type of person you end up with, and sure enough, the vision is all so perfect and wonderful.

Trying to combine two visions is proving difficult. Especially when there are a few extreme beliefs, and no happy medium. I'm not entirely sure if this has become a test of wills.

Friday, August 20, 2004

For those of you from the Northeast...the reason for the torrential downpours this afternoon was not due to a warm fronted jet stream colliding with a cool front downstream that brought along the clouds which formed over Lake Michigan...

It occured because I washed my car this morning. I'm sorry to all those affected.

Thursday, August 19, 2004

I thought with my newfound (and shortlived) unemployment, I figured I would be able to blog everyday!

Even the unemployed get busy.

The unemployed ask themselves questions.

Much like this one...

Temper Control: When is it best to exhibit this sore quality?

Last night I got angry about something. Logically, I shouldnt get angry, but I was.

In my younger days, I was a bit of a volcano when I was angry. I would get angry and the planet would hear and feel my anger. I definitely toned down quite a bit. I display my volcanic anger when truly necessary. Really.

Nowadays, there are moments where on the inside, Im erupting. I've learned the art of the 10 second rule. It gives me a chance for realization...is it something worth getting angry about?

Last night I had a moment where I wasnt so sure if I should keep the temper in check. I did. Mainly because I played devil's advocate and saw both sides of the situation. (when you get a text message that makes you mad, you have more of a reaction time since its a pain in the ass to text) Part of me thinks Im angry because of the topic which was brought up. Its a topic that doesnt settle well with me, and logically (I hate this word), I know I cant be angry all the time.

Lately, I've been learning to accept emotions as they arise. There is a reason Im feeling what I'm feeling, even if it is irrational. I'm working on my filtering system of what is worth being expressed, and what needs to be dealt with on my own.

Life would be so much better if it were consequence free.

For example:

Me and what I would like to say to the one who needs enlightenment: You're a dumbass!

The consequence free response from the person I enlightened: Yes. You are entitled to your opinion. You are a Goddess. I will make things right to your specifications.

Sadly, this world only exists somewhere in my subconscious.

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

I finished cleaning out my closet. I cant believe all of the things I've saved over the years...old letters, old book reports from the 5th grade, dance costumes, to name a few.

Somehow, I cant seem to find the significant things that are required for my present life...my credit card, some transcripts from college in India, a ring...you know, the things I should really be saving.

Monday, August 16, 2004

Today is my first day of unemployement. I've taken on the daunting task of cleaning my room.

At this moment, Im cleaning out my closet, Eminem style. We've lived in this house for 17 years, and I've never cleaned my closet. Back in the day, cleaning my room meant putting everything in the closet.

I cant believe the things I've saved. Old letters, stories I wrote in elementary school, shoes, pens, a mess kit, my Cabbage Patch Suitcase, tap shoes, jazz shoes, tennis skirts, purses, notebooks from the seventh grade with all of my doodles on it, my Powder Puff jersey, a valentines day card from my first boyfriend (tossed!)...its an endless pit of memories. Even as I sort through everything, I cant believe how many emotional phases I've been through in my little life. Its weird to think that all those bits came from some part of me. And my handwriting?! All fat and curvy, fitting 4 words per line. (Needless to say, I have very neat handwriting now)

I'm sorting through everything. Reading the old papers before deciding if they should be thrown away or kept. I'm throwing more than I'm saving. In order to move forward, I have to let go.

Guess what I've saved the most number of?...Plastic Bags. Not just any plastic bags, but the ones from the brand name stores (Gap, The Limited, H&M, Old Navy). God forbid in high school, if a plastic bag was needed I used a grocery bag, or a bag from KMart!

Yeah. I've come a long way.

Sunday, August 15, 2004

Today is India's Independence Day.

To celebrate, I showed my Mom my new apartment. She had her complaints, which was to be expected.

But when I moved in my first item (my new drinking glasses from Ikea), the only thought I had was that freedom begins in 2 weeks.

Thursday, August 12, 2004

Tomorrow is my last day at work. Not really my last last day. Since I'll be going to the school affiliated with the hosptial, I can go in every once in a while. But its still my last daily day.

I'm pretty sad about it. Its been a great experience. A fun job, with nice people. Its funny how they slowly become a part of your life. I spend more time with my work colleagues than with family. They probably know more about me.

I wrote out some Thank You cards tonight. Tomorrow, they're having a small lunch party for me. Its strange to have people celebrate 'you' on a day other than your birthday.

On the same token, I know its time to move on. As much as I love this job, its time for the next thing. Which is 2 years of school.

Gradual change is one thing. You dont really notice what went on, and how you've changed until you look back. When you recognize an active change in your life, its like all of the senses are heightened. Its a different set of emotions. Although I physically feel like Im metamorphosing, there really is no outward change. On the inside, I'm becoming more adult. Its a strange statement to say considering Im 27. Most of my friends have their careers defined and/or becoming settled with their new family life.

Between the 13th and the 26th of this month, work will end I'll be moving out on my own (with roomie-friend) for the first time, then I will start school, hoping to finally be on the right track.

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Whats happening with my blog?! I've made everyone worry.

Lets talk about happier, more frivolous things that make me (and maybe even you) quite happy.

I got a haircut today! Unfortunately, I couldnt go to my gay and glamourous hairdresser. I'm going to be back in student mode in a bit, and I cant afford his glamourous prices.

I went to the nice salon, but got a nice cheapy haircut with one of the trainee girls. I love it. She straightened out my hair too, so its nice and slick. My highlights are all lit up, which also means the roots are more magnified. Its a good day when my hair loses the portabella mushroom shape.

AND I downloaded the song, "Faded" by Soul Decision. Its one of the best return to pop songs ever.


Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Thanks for all of your support everyone. It really means a lot. Even though some of us havent met each other, I feel like I know you. All I can say is the kindness of the blogger family energizes me and makes me feel so blessed, loved and lucky! (End of Hallmark/ABC afterschool special moment)

People always talk about other people they know who "put themselves off." They dont really worry about themselves. I'm like that. I always feel fine, I can work through anything. Why cant I work through this? I was trying to convince myself that its not a big issue and I can make time for taking care of me. I've been saying that. I guess now is the time.

I got my blood and urine test (I feel like an Olympic athlete!) done this morning. Even though I work in a hospital setting, I'm always surprised to see how many people are just not well for one reason or another. The waiting room was packed at 9am, and the place opens at 7am. Apparently its usually packed then as well, so everyone can get their tests done before going into work.

I got it done, and the bill will come to me under my name. I figure I've done something right. If the tests dont show anything, I'll wait until school starts and see another doctor so I can get some other fun tests done. Not that I want some problem. When you feel bad-health funny, you want it to go away. If it doesnt go away, you want to know what is going on. I want an answer, because there has to be one. I may sound nutty, but I know Im not feeling up to par, I cant do all the things I usually do, which means there has been a change in my body. I wont accept that its nothing.

Note: I'm going to be labelled the crazy patient. The Docs will cringe when they hear my name. Secretaries will moan in exasperation and their eyes will fill with tears at the sight of my number on their caller ID.

I cant complain. Its been a great year. I suppose it needed a couple down points. Its part of the cycle...when bad things happen, they can only be followed by something good. Then once again something low will happen. Its all about the appreciating what you have and what is around you.

Monday, August 09, 2004

I hate going to the doctors office. It sucks. I hate health care in this country too. You pay money when you're well to have them tell you that you cant be covered when you're NOT well. (unless of course, you shell out more money. Even if you do this, they'll drop you because you're "using" too much of their money. Like Im using my insurance money to vamp up my wardrobe)

My insurance expired a little while ago. Even though Im still working, there were some things going on and 3 weeks ago I became a part timer. I finish work in 4 days. My first day of orientation for grad school is on the 26th. On the 26th I will get some more insurance. The crappy part is that I can only go to the doctors affiliated with the University (where I work, and will eventually go to school), and I know some of these docs. I can imagine...I'll have to undress and we can never look at each other again. Augh! NO!

I havent been feeling well, and its very uncharacteristic of me. Not just a runny nose type of thing, but some constant aches and pains, which have started concerning me as of recent. I NEVER go to the doctor. I will work while I'm sick just to prove that Im not sick (although everyone knows IM sick. I just hate being inactive).

I went to a family friend who is a doctor. It pays to be Indian sometimes. You're never short of "off the record" health care. So I discussed my problem, and he was slightly concerned. Although he told my parents there is nothing to be concerned about. Which confuses me, because he went through the spectrum of "Its nothing" to "It could be a chronic, debilitating condition." Yeah, thanks buddy.

Since he told my parents that its nothing serious, my parents want me to wait 2 weeks until I get the blood test that the doctor order. Mainly because I'll have to pay for this blood test out of pocket. (yay) If I wait a couple weeks, I can see the docs at the University, and it will all be free. The problem is, Im still feeling my aches and pains, and with this blood slip in my hands, I just want to know if this is attributed to something that can be detected in my blood.

Part of me says that I might as well wait the 2 weeks anyway. Either way my school insurance will cover the University doctors anyway. The other part wants to know whats going on, and is willing to pay the money to find out. CLS Boy wants me to get the blood test done. He says he's not worried, but I know he is. He's been bugging me to get it done since I got the blood slip last week. I told him I'd get it today, but my parents said not to get it done, wait for the insurance and save some money. Part of me gets so mad hearing this, because they saw me with my aches and pains the other day. I couldnt do anything. They're sticking to the "The Doctor said its nothing" philosophy. Even so, if its all psychological (which I highly doubt it is), I'd still like to know I need a shrink.

I'm not worried. I honestly think I have something that requires conservative treatment. At least if I knew that, I could do what I have to do. But what if Im wrong? I hate this period of waiting for my stupid health care to kick in. I'm ready to fly to India for some ayurvedic care by the beach.

Thursday, August 05, 2004

I had a fun day!

Today, as I was going for lunch with the nice Brazilian guy I work with, I hear someone calling my name.

I turn around and see a girl running towards me. I recognize her as a girl I went to college with. I didnt care for her much. She used to talk about me when anyone else was talking about me, and she would talk to me when certain people were talking to me.

I was in med school for 6 years. I knew her for 6 years. I would never consider her a friend, and I believe she would call me her friend in the 'right' company. In my opinion, in 6 years, she gave me more reasons NOT to consider her my friend. Whenever I run into these kind of people, I'd rather not talk to them. I wouldnt care if they walked right passed me either.

She runs up to me, calling my name, "Dr.P! Dr.P!"

I turn around and go, "Hi."

She says, "Its me, A!"

I reply, "I know."

She keeps going, "How are you? What are you doing here?"

So I tell her what Im doing, and that someone told me she would be in the area. (Thankfully I was forewarned)

She asks, "Where do you live?"

I tell her where.

She asks, "Is it nearby?"

I say, "Yes."

I ask her where she's staying. She tells me where, and points in the wrong direction. I politely, yet patronizingly point to the correct direction and say, "Its over there."

Then I tell her that I have to go for lunch.

Heh heh. Hey, just because I knew her doesnt mean I have to be her friend. I never understood the concept of someone saying hi to someone because they were in the same class. If you dont know them, (and dont like them), I dont see a need to go out of the way to be nice. I know she wasnt a good person towards me, and just because that period is done, doesnt mean all is said and done. I have no reason to be nice to her. I dont care how many years have passed. My friend was in shock and said, "You are usually so patient and talk well with everyone. She must have really gotten to your bad side!"

Im glad I could deliver a little bit of the bitchy karma she deserved from me years ago.

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Sometimes I think I have my bank balance all figured out. Then I feel that I can take a little more extra money from the ATM. Usually when you get money from the ATM, you get a receipt with your account balance on it.

Its a little lower than expected.

Did everyone I wrote checks for decide to deposit/cash their checks on the same day or what?!

Monday, August 02, 2004

I love kids. They are tons of fun, and keep me on my toes.

Out of boredom on Sunday, I called 2 of my cousins who are 21 (MM) and 24 (VM) (obviously not kids) because I wanted to go out for dinner. We got to talking and decided to call my 2 other cousins who are 12 and 6. MM felt bad we were excluding my other cousins son who is 4 (Mr.Hyper), so she called him too.

When the 5 of us went to Mr.Hyper's place, he was so excited, he ran out without shoes. Mind you, it rained earlier in the day. We got his shoes on, and packed everyone into my little Chevy. During our short ride, the 12 year old asked me to roll down the windows and blast the Hip Hop station. Which was fine, because the 2 little ones were fighting over who is better, Harry Potter or Spider Man.

So at the pizza place, there was a 20 minute wait. Mr.Hyper could not handle this. He asked me, "Do you want to see my fighting moves?" and proceeded to do these not-so-karate-esque moves in the middle of the waiting area. I told him to sit, and 2 nanoseconds later he asked me, "Do you want to see my shoes glow?" and proceeded to jump around so I could see his shoes glow.

We finally got our seats. A booth! We trapped the little ones inside, and the 6 year old wanted to take off his sandals.

We got involved in conversation. We asked the 6 year old when his birthday was. He didnt know. We asked Mr.Hyper when his birthday was, and he said next Friday. (His birthday is in April. He also said he got a haircut on Tuesday, which also never happened) No one threw food, but there was a "Who can eat the most pizza in the least amount of time" game that was about to begin, but I promptly stopped that.

We definitely had the loudest table, but luckily we were in a place that drowns out sound really well. I had a fun night with the kids. But MM and VM stated they wanted to get their tubes tied.