For the love of God, I'm 29 today.

Right now I'm "vacationing" at my parents house, wearing sweats I received as a Christmas present when I was 15 with my high school tennis sweatshirt, with my brand new haircut. I look around the family room filled with pictures of me and my family and so many memories and think how so much and so little has changed at the same time.

I'm heading to the casino later. I hope my financial status can change in one pull of the slot machine lever.

Treat yourself to something today. My thoughts will be with you as I celebrate the first day of the last year of the second decade of my life.

This morning I had the unfortunate displeasure of wearing freshly washed jeans. I kept wondering if my butt got bigger from all the turkey I ate or was it the freshly washedness of the jeans.

I hate when jeans are part of laundry day. The aftermath is cringeworthy.

I stole this from Wayne.

(X) smoked a cigarette
( ) crashed a friend's car
(X) Got drunk with a good friend (Don't you read this blog?)
( ) stolen a car
(X) been in love
(X) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
(X) been fired (but I was rehired the next week)
(X) been in a fist fight
( ) snuck out of your parent's house (Sneaking in was the tricky part)

( ) been arrested
( ) gone on a blind date
(X) skipped school
(X) seen someone die
(X) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(X) been on a plane
( ) purposely set a part of yourself on fire
(X) eaten Sushi
(X) been skiing.. snowboarding (my favorite athletes...too bad I cant be considered one of them. wasn't very good.)
(X) been moshing at a concert
(X) taken painkillers (Wisdom teeth removal)
(X) love someone or miss someone right now
(X) lain on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(X) made a snow angel
(X) flown a kite
(X) built a sand castle
(X) gone puddle jumping
(X) played dress up
(X) jumped into a pile of leaves (the other kids and I got in trouble because the neighbor had just raked them...oops)
(X) gone sledding

(X) cheated while playing a game
(X) been lonely
(X) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake id (went to school in India where it is legal to drink at any age)
(X) watched the sun set
(X) felt an earthquake/tremor
( ) touched a snake (ew Wayne you did that?! You are so Fear Factor!)
(X) slept beneath the stars
(X) been tickled
(X) been robbed (I caught the bitch)
(X) been misunderstood

(X) pet a reindeer/goat
(X) won a contest
(X) run a red light (pretty much every time I drive)
( ) been suspended from school
( ) been in a car crash (fender bender)
(X) had braces
(X) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night (more like an hour. more than once)
(x) had deja vu
(x) danced in the moonlight
(X) liked the way you look
( ) witnessed a crime

(X) questioned your heart
(X) been obsessed with post-it notes
(X) squished barefoot through the mud
(X) been lost
(X) been to the opposite side of the country
(X) swum in the ocean
(X) felt like dying
(X) cried yourself to sleep
( ) played cops and robbers
( ) recently colored with crayons
(X) sung karaoke

( ) paid for a meal with only coins
(X) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(X) made prank phone calls (I'm so bad at it!)
( ) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(X) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(X) danced in the rain
( ) written a letter to Santa Claus (I never believed in him)
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe (I'd like that though!)
(X) watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(X) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach

( ) crashed a party
(X) gone roller-skating
(X) had a wish come true (I saw Bono didn't I?)
(X) worn pearls (I'm not a pearly person)
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) ate dog/cat food
( ) told a complete stranger you loved them
(X) kissed a mirror
(X) sung in the shower
(X) had a dream that you married someone
( ) glued your hand to something

( ) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
( ) kissed a fish
(X) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
(X) done a one-handed cartwheel
(X) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours (My parents didn't appreciate that phone bill)
(X) stayed up all night
( ) didn't take a shower for a week
(X) pick and ate an apple right off the tree
(X) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
(X) are scared to watch scary movies alone

(X) believe in ghosts
( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
(X) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
( ) gone streaking
( ) gone doorbell ditching
( ) played chicken
(X) jumped into a pool/hot tub/lake with all your clothes on
(X) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(X) broken a bone (my pinky finger...twice!)
(X) been easily amused
(X) caught a fish then ate it

(X) caught a butterfly
(X) laughed so hard you cried
(X) cried so hard you laughed (I actually do this very often when I cry)
( ) cheated on a test (peering yes. I was young then. Not all out cheating)
( ) have a Britney Spears CD
(X) forgotten someone's name
( ) French braided someone's hair (I dont know why I can't do this)
( ) gone skinny dipping in a pool
( ) been threatened to be kicked out of your house
( ) been kicked out your house
(X) have had a fantasy over someone you love as a good friend
( ) sun tanned naked
( ) ran naked in the rain

Short Post. No Time. Going Crazy.

A List of what has been going on:

1. School

2. School

3. School

4. School

5. Best friend accidentally ran over my foot with her SUV. Foot survived. Took it as a sign that a higher power is trying to squeeze the life out of me mentally and physically

6. Went to the big football game against our rival. Lost. It sucks to be on the losing side.

7. Going to see U2 at Madison Square Garden tonight!!! I've seen them once before, but not at a venue like this. I'm so excited. Wahoo!

8. Looking forward to a very happy thanksgiving. And I am thankful for all of you. Have a wonderful day!

I went to a happy hour at the grad school the other day, and I ended up talking with someone who made me think.

This girl was from the Divinity School, and she said, "If you have to struggle to acheive something then it wasn't yours to acheive. You know when you are on the right path because it should come easy. Your talent should be God-sent."

I did not agree with her. As someone who struggles in school, I did not want to. I thought about the many people I know who really struggle to find their path and once they find it, they know they achieve their destiny. I always thought the struggle is a test for you to find how strong your determination is to acheive your goal or find a new one.

What do you think?

I just got a chain email forwarded to me. Nothing to do with luck, life or death, but psychology.

You do a series of simple math problems like 53+22, 12+15...there are about 5-7 of them. At the end is the exclamation, "Now think of a tool and a color!"

98% of people think of a red hammer.

I thought of a blue wrench.

This stupid email never defined us 2% minority, although I have a feeling it explains many of my academic difficulties.

"Won't you be? Please won't you be? Won't you be...my neighbor?"

"Hi neighbor!"

CLS Boy is my neighbor. Well he's not really my neighbor, but he lives 2 suburbian blocks away from me. It is a little strange to drive by his street and see his car there.

I have seen him out of my own free will. We went out to lunch one day, and it was weird. We talked, I set some boundaries, and then he asked me to go to the Pumpkin Festival with him. I became irate, and I couldn't control it. I went off on him saying that the purpose of me going out to lunch with him was not to try again.

I've seen him off and on, so he can pick up some of his stuff and things of that nature. But the strangest part is, the whole time we were dating, he lived about 3.5 hours away from me and the moment we break up, he lives a 3.5 minute walk from me and I've seen him more times in a week than I would in a month.

Its messing with my head.

Especially since I'm talking to someone new.

Just talking.

I'm obsessed with the show MADE on MTV. I love the aspect of the little people winning. Part of it was because mentally I think I was like those people back in the day, although physically I was strong. Now its the other way around.

For those who don't know about this show thats even better than Extreme Home Makeover, each week, the show takes a high school student and transforms them into something they want to be or learn. Examples include girls who have wanted to win a beauty pageant, a football player who wanted to be a ballet dancer, girl who wanted to learn how to wakeboard, etc. The thing is, these kids are viewed as the opposite of what they want to be MADE as. So the girl who wants to win the beauty pageant is notthe standard view of pretty, the wakeboarder does not play any sports, etc. They videotape them over 5 weeks, and the finale is a competition/contest they have to be in, like the wakeboarding competition, a ballet recital, trying out for the cheerleading team.

SO I was thinking about what I would want to be MADE over as. I think it would be a snowboarder. I'm really clumsy and hate the snow and cold, but I love the way they just glide and all the jumps they do. They are really nice athletes, relaxed and fun to be around. Plus, there are a lot of good looking snowboarding men.

This seems like an easy goal, I live near a pseudo-mountain I could try, but when its cold the motivation isnt there.

This lead me to the start of the creation of the 50 things to do before I die list. So far I have learning to play the piano, climbing mt.kilamanjaro, learning how to snowboard, driving cross-country. I'll complete the rest over the weekend.

PS--Can you leave me links of your favorite websites to visit? I'm bored with all of the ones I go to and I'm not sure what I'm looking for.

In light of my newfound singledom, I am reposting an old post I wrote over a year and a half ago....(March 2004)


I am single. (This should come as no surprise to any regular reader of this blog)

It is plainly obvious that I am single. I dont hide it. I also have no significant other to speak of.

Sadly enough, there are people who believe that the lack of my discussion about any significant other in my life from my point of view, means I am hiding someone. Which makes me want to say, "Yes idiot. I have a little iddy biddy someone sitting in the far corner of my back pocket!"

Moving on. These people need an answer as to why I am single. There are 100000 other topics to discuss in life, but the one question that pops out of their mouth is...

"Why are you still single?"

You know what? I dont know. How do you respond to that?

I have figured out different ways to answer this question.

1) I am single, because I am not dating anyone. How's that for luck?

2) Me + Dipshit will eventually equal single anyway.

3) I dont like to share my bed.

4) Because I want to save all the drama for my mama.

5) Boyfriend? No thanks. I'm fabulous enough for two.

6) I know when I'm having a fat day, an ugly day, a crappy day, a bitchy day, a PMS-ridden day, a low serotonin day, or all these days rolled up into one. I dont need a second opinion.

7)If I stay single, someone may adopt me for 10 cents a day. If there are two, the cost goes up.

8)If I dated, I wouldnt be able to take the "Which astrological sign is right for you," the "Are you waiting for Mr.Right to sweep you off your feet," the "Which celebrity is your ideal mate," and lest not forget the "Are you sabotaging your love life" quizzes with the utmost honesty and sincerity.

9) Do you know how hard it is to get TWO tickets for The Lion King?

10) Because I just love hearing this question. Every fucking day.

*********************************************************

CLS Boy is officially moving 2 blocks from me on Saturday. He is going to stop by my place to pick up the rest of his things. I am real nervous about seeing him, I havent talked to him in a while either. Well, thats not true, there was some IM-ing on Monday. But it was kept short. I probably shouldn't sit near him. Should I be hospitable or is that leading him on because I definitely don't want to do that. AARRRGGGHHH. This is why I just eat. It keeps my mind and mouth occupied.

So I'm still in post-break up mode.

Instead of going into detail about that, I'm doing this Meme or whatever they are called...

I stole this from Osbasso

Directions:
Go to Google and click on the images link. Type in the following and post the first (or your favorite) picture the search engine finds.
- The name of the town where you grew up
- The name of the town where you live now
- Your name
- Your Grandmother’s name (pick one)
- Your favorite food
- Your favorite drink
- Your favorite song
- Your favorite smell

The Town Where I Grew Up



The Town Where I Live Now



My Name



My Grandmother's Name



(After seeing this I'm considering asking my Grandmother to dye her hair flaming red. It would go nice with a white sari)


My Favorite Food



My Favorite Drink



My Favorite Song



My Favorite Smells







Interesting posts coming soon...CLS Boy has found an apartment 2 blocks away from mine...stay tuned.

Date of Death of Relationship: 28th September 2005

Estimated Time of Death of Relationship: 9:12pm

Then...

ALL.HELL.BROKE.LOOSE.

He came to my place Tuesday night, and things weren't going so well. Wednesday I was in class all day, and I came home. We ordered a pizza and began talking about the relationship. While we were talking I knew it had to end. At some point I said I didn't want to be together anymore. He asked me to give it another chance, and I said I couldn't. Then he got up from the table and said, "I guess I should go."

I stayed sitting at the table. I didn't know what to do. After 5 minutes I got up to see what was happening. I found him at the entrance of my bedroom leaning against the wall crying uncontrollably. Knowing I had been the cause of his pain, I started crying too. Then I made him sit and he was lying down on the bed, crying and not blinking. He even started twitching. I told him that he couldn't drive tonight and he had to stay. He literally went into a psychotic child-like state repeating over and over that everything will be OK, in a quite child-like voice. I was so scared. I told him he couldn't drive and then he said that there was no way he could stay. He got up and collapsed on his bag just crying. This happened quite a few times. He decided to stay and this morning we went through the same thing. He admitted that things were falling apart with us, although this is the first time he's acknowledged the fact. He was blaming it on distance and I didn't think that was the case. He kept saying, "I'm days away from moving down here." But he's not, and I know it. The hardest part was keeping my ground because I know we were both crying because we had a wonderful relationship in many ways, and for some reason when you break up with someone that's all you can think about. Like right now. He just left. He's taken some of his things and asked me to think about my decision for a couple days. If I feel the same, he will come back for the rest. He said that he will always love me, and we probably cannot be friends, and even if thats true in a relationship, its hard to know that someone will be out of your life forever. Its hard to break up with someone because of drifting apart, or growing in separate directions. Its easier to say, "You were an asshole. Now go." It was so hard to see him leave though, and that he'll probably never be back. And that I've crushed him so much. I feel like an evil person right now. I have to be there for myself now, and I can't immediately call him with a problem or just to tell him something good, or to hear a friendly voice.

I wish it wasn't 2pm right now. Everyone is at work or school and I know all I want is to cry and talk and for someone to tell me I did the right thing. It seemed like the right idea last week. I guess I'll just keep crying til my eyes are a satanic shade of red and I figure everything out. I want him to be happy too.

My leg and pedicured toes.


Did you know today is HNT? Thats right, Half-Nekkid Thursday. Brought to you courtesy of this blog, which was brought to my attention by this blog which I love.

I never thought I would participate in something called Half-Nekkid Thursday. I always thought it would be the kind of thing that I observe intently and with interest, but this time I couldn't resist. I'm a straight arrow looking to make a change. I'm breaking out like Swing Out Sister.

I present to you, My Right Leg. Shaved and lotioned.

I've done it. I jumped on the Friendster bandwagon.

I've actually had an account for quite sometime. When Friendster was popping up everyone barraged me with joining their little friend group. I was too cool and said no, but set up an account anyway just to end the madness.

This was 2 years ago.

Then one fine day, my friend Peanut in New Jersey called me and mentioned how a mutual acquaintance from college found her on Friendster and invited Peanut to her (the acquaintance's) wedding reception. Peanut then went online and saw all of the acquaintance's friends, who were enemies of ours. So Peanut decided she wouldn't go to the reception since all the 'cukooheads' would be there.

I havent heard from these people in ages (nor do I want to). But my nosy self went online to see whats going on. I saw a lot of them that I hope not to see in person. It was mortifying to know that they were in existance. The most interesting part is that they all talked behind their backs in college. I had a great laugh.

Then I found all these people that I LIKE on Friendster, which I guess is the whole point of Friendster. I now have a mere 17 friends. I may not be the most popular girl on Friendster compared to those with 256 friends, but its kind of nice to know where your friends are.

Besides, the whole school is doing it. I'm cool enough for Friendster now.

There's something in the water because this is the 4th wedding I've been to in 5 weeks.

This wedding was in a beautiful convention center place, although poorly planned. There was a 4 hour break between the wedding and the reception, the speeches were kind of crappy (there were almost 10 speeches), the lighting was bad, and desserts were outside the reception hall so once people exited they didn't come back. But the food was excellent.

I'm chilling with my friends. I was at a table where everyone was married except for me. Everyone was great and I loved seeing my friends. We are all over the place, so we usually meet up at weddings now.

Finally, at one point of the wedding there were people with these huge bowlfuls of party favors. One of the women passing out the party favors came to our table. She asked my friend to the right of me if she was married. She said yes. She got her party favor.

She asked me if I was married. I said no. Then she said, "Then you don't get one."

Jaws dropped all around the table. Now you have to be married to get a party favor?!

This woman came around again, and my friend told her that I didn't get one, and this woman said, I know.

I was angry and upset not because I didnt get a stupid cheap 3 Rupee party favor (that is not soley for married couples), but because it was like this God awful thing that I'm not married. I was shunned.

I went and found my Mommy and told her what happened. She was angry too and its fun to be angry with your mom, because she adds an element that can make you laugh. She said that the wedding isn't that great anyway, the gift is cheap, and I look good.

And of course, as always, she was right.

As promised, here are a few pictures from my trip to Greece

Here's Athens. At least one side of it. I'm not entirely sure which side I lived on. I know it was the northeast corner...Its ok, I could always find my way home.


The Parthenon. It was a hot day, so the hike up seemed like forever. Which is why I chose not to pose for pics.

This is taken from the island of Aegina...the water is gorgeous!

The island of Hydra. Yes, all of the islands are so cute.


Mykonos...'nuff said

I'm back!

I've actually been back since August 12th, but I've been trying to cram 2 and a half months worth of summer vacation into 2 and a half weeks. I forgot how many people I haven't seen in so long.

Greece was wonderful. It is such a beautiful country. I worked with women who are victims of sex trafficking and it was so interesting and mentally very rough at the same time. I dont think I will devote my life to the issue, but I think I will always have a foot in it. I am getting involved with an organization here which works with victims, so hopefully I can learn more and maybe my experiences can help.

Aside from that, I did get to travel a lot. I lived just outside Athens, went to Sounion, the islands of Aegina, Hydra and Mykonos. Took a road trip to Marathon, Delphi, Olympia and through the Peloponese to Nafplio and Corinth. I think I experienced everything there is to experience, even eating Grilled Octopus which is a major delicacy over there. (It wasnt so for me) I tried to immerse myself in the culture as much as I could, I picked up a little Greek, and joined the gym there. I really had an amazing 2 months.

The only downsides were 1) I was stuck with the girliest roommates in the world. To the point that there was a couple times we went out together, they walked around the club trying to pick up guys instead of enjoying the company they were with. Things ended on a sour note and I'm thankful I dont have to see them again. and 2) All of the other Indians there were vendors and people of that sort which was discouraging to see from my point of view.

Anyway, I am home now, just started my first day of class and I all I want is 1 more week off. I think I deserve it. We have classes on Labor Day.

Hello from Greece! I figured I should blog only after seeing the Acropolis, which I did today.

This will be a short post, but all is well and beautiful here in Greece. Work is amazing...a little depressing since I'm working on a sad subject, but I'm learning so much.

Greece is beautiful.People are friendly, and there is a lot of life here. People are always out and about. I went out out for the first time last night. Left at midnight and got back in at 5am. Thats how it goes here.

Its so nice to be away from the stress that I call home. Its amazing how I feel.

Hope everyone is well!

You know what I like about Europe? At least in Holland, they have 4 music television channels, and they all play videos. A few shows, but mainly videos. Old, new, and they play them at full length.

How's that for a concept?

Thank you for listening to my rant about children. I really do love them, but this one is insane.

Amsterdam is great. Its such a nice place. I went to a cafe called 'The Doors' looking for the good stuff. I saw the pot, and that was wild. I kept looking around for the cops to rush in, and then I had to remind myself that 'Its ok! I'm in the real land of the free!'

Dutch people are very nice. They aren't Euro-stylish, but stylish and casual. Lots of people wear sneakers and jeans, but they are funky, colorful sneakers, and not running sneakers and jeans. Its odd being in a land where Indians are a true minority in every sense of the word. Not just Indians, but those who are not tall and blonde. One thing, the Dutch are lovely people who ride their bikes everywhere.

One thing I love to do with any vacation is to see the sights, but to get a feel as to how people live. What does the supermarket look like, basically what do the regular people do on a daily basis? Staying with my cousin has given me the chance to do that. I've been to the grocery store, visited the playschool, went to the regular shopping mall, taken the bus...things like that.

Amsterdam is a small city which doesn't take long to see. I think if I was in my early 20's, and didn't have family here, I would stay 5 days for all the partying, etc. Its easy to get around.

I went to Austria by train last weekend. Myself and 2 of my friends met up at one friends house. (1 friend is from Holland, and 1 is from Austria)...we went to this small town on top of a mountain 20 minutes past Salzburg. It was gorgeous. The mountains are amazing, and there are so many churches and beautiful houses built all around the area. All I could think of was the Sound of Music. Thankfully, my Dutch friend thought the same. We didn't do much and that was perfect. Spent time by the lake, went sailing, played a game, had dinner at my friends boyfriend's place with his family, who were very nice. Although my German is very minimal, so there was a bit of a communication gap. The best part were the young kids trying to practice their English talking about a show called, 'Pimp Up My Ride.' I know the show is called 'Pimp My Ride', but they all say, 'Pimp Up My Ride.' The kids love it, and they were imitating the way X-ibit talks. Let me tell you, if you want to see comedy in its purest form, check out some young Austrian kids trying to speak Ebonics. You'll fall off your chair.

A little background, my friend from Holland, Austria and I worked together in New York, and thats how we know each other. We used to hang out all the time. We haven't seen each other in 2.5 years. I'm surprised they haven't met up either since they are in Europe. So it was just wonderful.

We would eat breakfast outside...butter here is great, and I love a typical German breakfast.

So anyway, Sunday, my Holland friend and her husband went back to Holland, and I went with my friend to Innsbruck where she works. This time, we were at the bottom of the mountain, where you'll find an Ikea, H&M, etc. Not how I pictured Innsbruck, but it is still beautiful. Along the way, we stopped at another lake outside Munich and I had a typical Bavarian meal, which consisted of a lot of meat.

Monday morning I left Innsbruck by train, and went on a crazy train ride which took me all along the Rhine, to Cologne, and finally finally finally, back to Amsterdam.

I went to 3 countries in 3 days. I'm currently 2 hours from Belgium and 4 hours from Paris. Its so strange to say that, because I'm 8 hours from Canada, and 30-something hours from Mexico. I guess that's Europe.

One very good thing that has happened since I came is that the dollar has gained an ounce of strength against the Euro. I'm hoping for more!

Today is my last full day in the United States, and it went like an episode of The Real World.

I woke up stressed at 6am, 7am, 8am, and finally 8:45am. I chatted with Roomie and then putzed around. Mainly pacing until it came time for her to leave. So she was going to work, we hugged, and had watery eyes. She left before crying, and I went to my room and cried. I think of her when I think of home, but when I come back it wont be like that. I stopped crying and stressed out again. I got myself and my things together, and had to leave him. Cried some more. I know, its only two months and I'm crying over everything but a lot of it is stress, and a lot of it is change itself.

Then I had to get on to other duties that were not mine. Picking up my niece, seeing my uncle, and just doing things for everyone else when today really needed to be a ME day. I'm almost done packing, I think. Luckily I'll be in Greece, so if there is anything I really need I'm sure I can get it. Plus, my airline allows 2 bags.

I'll try and blog when I can. I've been reading everyone's blogs, but just not commenting, and I'm sorry about that. Just want to let you know that I am thinking of you.

First stop--Amsterdam...where's the good stuff because I need some!

I have been so busy with Greece preparations. Every so often I have to remind myself that its not a trip, I'll be living and working there for 2 months. I don't know what I need, so I have basically decided to fit everything in a suitcase and a half, including a box of Grape Nuts Cereal. Gotta have my fiber.

This weekend my roomie and I had a ladies night where we invited our friends (without their men) to our place. They were mainly her friends who I know since most of my friends were busy. It was fun, we got pizza, made drinks, and a pampered chef demonstration, and talked about everything from childhood to men to life as old ladies. Afterwards, we went to a club for a couple hours, and that night we realized why we go out once a year. Some of the people there are crazy. My poor eyes.

5 people slept over, so the only 2 rooms in our apartment where there wasnt a body on the floor was the kitchen and the bathroom. It was real nice. We then went out for brunch, came home and everyone left.

Then it was roomie and I. After everyone left, we were kind of sad, especially because this is our last week of living together. I leave for Europe next week, and by the time I come back she will be all moved out and on to her new endeavor. My new roomie moves in a couple weeks after that. So we took a walk with some bread looking for some ducks to feed, but couldn't find any. Then we came home and hung out. Its funny, because even though we've been living together for almost a year, the last few months I've been so busy with school, I haven't really been able to give all of myself to anyone. So hanging out with her was nicer. We were both sad. This last week I have to see everyone, and spend quality time with my family, CLS Boy, Roomie, and my best friend. I do get sad thinking that Roomie won't be here when I get back. She has been a great roomie and friend, we didn't fight once, and laughed all the time. We had moments of course, but we are both smart enough to know when to stay away from each other. I've gained a friend for life, and that is a very sunny brightside.

One thing I am learning from the preparations of going to Greece, is that travelling is a big part of who I am. I love travelling, new cultures, and learning about people, and helping them. Its all me. I need this in my life. But I also need stability. I can't wait for my last year of school to end so I can finally have that.

Of course when school ends next year and we all leave to wherever we were lucky enough to find jobs, I'll probably wish I lived in the same neighborhood as all of my friends.