My Dichotomous Life.

Yesterday was fabulous. The sun was shining, I wore shorts and went hiking with my friend. We had a great time laughing and talking. Everyone in high spirits. Even the bank teller was super chipper!

At night, I went with 2 of my friends, to the birthday party of a friend of one of the friends. The birthday girl is from Trinidad, and one friend I went with is from Trinidad, and the other is Jamaican.

We had a blast. They played calypso music, and we were jamming. We ate all the yummy Trini food...I was in heaven. Everyone was mixing well, we had fun conversation, and just enjoyed ourselves all around.

I came home at 2am, and found a message from Cali Law Student Boy on my answering machine. I figured it was about 11 in California, let me call and say hello. He was at this party, drunk, and a little flustered because apparently someone bothered him. I calmed him down, which took 20 minutes, and then let him go.

I was peacefully sleeping, when at 4am my phone rang. Its Cali Law Student Boy. He is sounding low. He was saying how he had a great day, and then at this party some people started bothering him when he didnt think he did anything wrong. I talked to him to relax him. Then he finally told me what happened.

He was talking about me, and mentioned I was Indian. His friends there began calling me his 'brown girlfriend.' They think he should find someone from his own race. I guess this conversation has been popping up a lot since he started mentioning me to his friends there. They've asked him if he can imagine having babies with little brown heads on them.

Hearing this, my feelings got hurt too. Not because of him, but because people can actually think like that. I didnt let on, and he was probably too drunk to notice even if I did. I told him that is the tip of the iceberg when you want to commit yourself in a clearly interracial relationship. I told him what my friend had said, and explained if we decide to forego a commitment, he is going to expect comments. I've only had one friend make any sort of rude comment, but he's had quite a few.

He said he felt awful. (Drinking for 10 hours doesnt help either) He said he is putting me through. I stayed on as his voice of reason telling him not to worry, and people will say things. You have to choose your battles. Then he said that he was being "an asshole." I told him to walk home at one point, so I stayed on the phone with him. We talked about the race thing a lot. It was actually a good conversation, unfortnately, since he was tres drunk, I'll probably have to remind him of the conversation. He is super confident, and I guess I put him on some kind of pedastal because of it. It was comforting to know that he has a couple insecurities too.

He made it into the house, and I told him to drink water. I then told him to go to bed.

At 6am, I was off the phone.

This whole morning, I've been thinking about the whole race issue. It angers me that some people find rules in love, and that there are still people who believe in 'sticking to ones own kind.' Thats fine if they want to live their life that way, but dont dictate me.

Fifty years ago, in Brown Vs. Board of Education, the Supreme Court outlawed school segregation.