Im tired. I need to stop thinking.

This weekend, I had a wonderful time at a wedding in DC. DC is a nice city. Its no NYC, but its still beautiful and rich in history. There is a strong chance that after grad school, I'll end up in the DC area, since there are lots of job offerings in my field out there.

I stayed with one of my cousins, his wife and his 2 year old daughter. This cousin and I were never particularly close growing up. He was and still is quite the intellecutal, and I was always the goofy one. We never had much in common.

Now, we can talk until the cows come home. I look at him, his family, and his beautiful home. A part of me wants that, but I dont want it now. I wonder if its ok not to want it now.

My cousins wife is from our caste and community. She also grew up in the U.S., and neither her nor my cousin speak our language. They dont really observe any of our holidays either. They eat Indian food when they go to their parents house, and they raise their daughter as any typical 2nd/3rd generation would.

Fast forward to the wedding. Another set of cousins of mine were invited to this wedding also, and we were all at the same table. I have one cousin who has been dating a Polish guy for 3 years, wants to marry him and buy a house with him. Once she makes that move, her parents will disown her. My cousins and myself made a pact that if we get disowned for any reason, we will still support each other. Whether we listen to family or our hearts, it seems like there will be some sort of sacrifice.

Time goes by so fast. Sometimes I wish there were more free hours in the day, or more days in the weekend to just relax, to visit people, and even clean a little bit. I like to squeeze so much in because there isnt always a chance to do what you want to do and see who you want to see.

In a couple months, I begin grad school. I feel like the next 2 years of my life will offer so much of many things, especially change. I dont know where I'll end up, what I'll be doing, and who will be by my side.

I hope I dont let any oppotunities pass me by.