Sunday, October 26, 2003

I wish today was yesterday. I dont mean it as wishing I didnt have to wake up for work tomorrow, but I want to experience the essence of yesterday again.

If you read the last post, I was up at 7:30am on a Saturday. Call me crazy. I'll call myself crazy. Im crazy. But I had my 9am haircut. Priorities, priorities.

I take the half hour drive to my fave salon to get my haircut. I actually havent been there in months, because it was too far away. I also didnt think I deserved a high class haircut just to sit at home. Now Im in a whole different ballgame.

I was very excited for this day to come. I walk in, and I was having someone else cut my hair, and not my man Joe. This was only because Saturday was the only day I was free, and he wasnt. When Joe saw me, he told me I needed my highlights. I said I wanted something dynamic, and he knew just what to do. So I decided to get the highlights as well. How's that for spontaneity? Before my haircut Joe and I chitchatted about the boy scene, and each time I go in, he tells me of a new place I should go for some eye candy. I love having a gay hairdresser.

Im sit in the chair, and Joe is telling Kathy how to cut my hair, and he mixes the color and tells her how to color it. She knows how to cut, but Joe and I share a bond. He understands my hair. Then after the highlights and cut was finished, he told her how to do my hair. Then he came outside with me, in the sun, with a mirror to show off my highlights to myself.

Right after I was all styled up, I went into NYC. I hopped off the train and took the subway to Union Square. From there I had a lovely walk to a coffee shop called the Higher Ground in th East Village, where I met my friend. The weather was wonderful, I wanted to sit outside all day. We then went to this small Italian place for a quick bite to eat. It was awesome. This is one friend I can totally be myself around, quirks and all. This is someone who understands the art of conversation. I love listening to him as well, because he's so knowledgable on so many different levels. I learn so much. Plus, we also decided what Im doing for my birthday and New Years.

Unfortunately, he had a prior engagement, so he had to leave. I didnt really know what to do at that point. I was near my old apartment building. So I called D'ex.

Dont berate me. Hear me out.

D'ex says I can come on over. I went. My heart was litererally in my ears. I could feel it pounding. I hadnt seen him for 4 months at that point. Thats a long time when you've liked someone. He left his door open for me like he always does. When I walked in, I had expected him to be wearing his flannel pants, his white undershirt and socks. Instead, I got a clean shaven, sweater and jeans with nice black shoes wearing D'ex. I said, "You didnt have to get dressed up for me." And he said, "We're going out!" What?! This was a first. I completely underestimated him. He was taken aback when I told him how surprised I was at the prospect of us actually leaving his apartment. Then we started ballroom dancing. We did. D'ex and Dr.P style. This is 'normal' for us.

We walked to Lombardi's for pizza. It was a real fun walk. We were talking and laughing so much. He was very complimentary towards me. I dont know why all this surprised me, but it did. I felt so good. He was so nice and sincere. Even though I was floating on air, I knew I had to keep my feet on the ground. I know the story by now. Even if he did like me, there's just no way. Plus at his house, I saw a few new girls' phone numbers on his memo board (under my name), and I have no intention on being second fiddle to anyone. (He still has a cute note I wrote to him up on the board too).

Through all the fun, laughs, and serious conversation, I realized how I've changed too. I knew I was a different person than when he last saw me. We were so happy to see each other, and I believe a major reason was familiarity. We're comfortable with each other. We know there are no limits to the things we say. We didnt have to question each other. For a brief moment, I didnt want to leave.

I loved seeing him. I did let him hold my hand for a little bit. I miss that kind of warmth. After dinner, we walked back and he dropped me at my subway station. We hugged and kissed each other on the cheek. Then I went down into the subway station. I thought I would have a difficult time leaving, because I had so much fun. As natural as it was to see him, leaving him felt just as natural.

I felt free.

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