Im in the 2.5 hour of procrastination.

This Saturday is my 10 year high school reunion. I thought I would go with the notion of, "If this one sucks, I'll never go again."

Somehow now, I vehemently do NOT want to go.

The thought didn't come out of thin air. I know where it came from.

And its silly. Because I look better know than I did in high school, and I (hope) I'm on my way to a great career.

But...

Since everyone has been getting back in contact with everyone, there are updates after updates...and a good majority of the group are married, or married and pregnant. I know someone who knows someone who is putting together a little album of her daughter to show to people. For the 'picture wall', people are sending pictures of their children.

I understand their love for their kids, but I have a feeling that I'll be on a different plane than everyone. Actually, the people I know of who would be in the same wavelength as me aren't going. (I've been taking a poll)

Most of my friends are bringing their significant others for moral support, in case they don't have anyone to talk to. Part of me wants to bring someone because in high school I never had a date except for my prom date, and I wasnt the girl who anyone liked in that way. I dont want to be looked at the same way.

I can show up at any event alone. But reunions are not just an event to enjoy. Its a scale of where you've been, how far you've come, and where you're going. I know I've come a long way. Maybe its a fear of realizing that I really haven't.

Ok, so a small portion of me REALLY wants to go. I wonder who I'll see, and it would be nice to know if some people have changed. I wonder what it will feel like being transported back in time for a couple hours. Will it be enjoyable or will I puke? And do I really want this question answered, because Im happy with the current movement of time.

I'll make a decision in the 11th hour. That's for sure.